Note: WTF video after the jump. Seen here pounding out a drum solo on some lady’s bongos chest (please, a little maturity), Khunying Tobnom practices the (not so) ancient art of breast enlargement by slapping. What the — is anybody really buying this?! I heard the secret was getting motorboated by a slovenly blogger. Khunying has been performing this non-surgical technique for more than 20 years, and her claim is that the slapping shifts body fat from one area to another and the kneading works excess fat towards the breasts. [But what if you knead too much into one and not enough into the other?!] In 2003, breast slapping was officially approved as a natural alternative to plastic surgery. At least for now, this one beautician is the only person in the world who knows the secrets of breast, face and buttock slapping, which she inherited from her grandmother. One day when she a teenager, her grandmother saw her applying some miracle cream to her breasts in hopes that they would grow. She told her to stop wasting her time and money and rub them till it hurt. [WTF?!] She allowed her grandmother to slap her breasts a few times and douse them with ice-water, which resulted in a growth by 4 inches. Eventually, she mastered the techniques on her own. Not gonna lie, one time I got punched in the forehead and it swelled up too. I know, weird how that works. But then it turned purple-greenish-brown. Not how I like my taytays. Wait, let me rephrase that — not how I like women’s taytays. Mine? I’m kinky as f***, I’ve even tie-dyed these puppies before. Hit the jump for a video of Khunying in action and, inevitably, a bunch of dudes in the comments offering their services for free.

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Super Iffy Thai Breast-Slapping Enlargement

The stormtrooper you were looking for ? “No.” Oh. Buy me a pair of furry ears? Cosplay Corner [geeks.thedailywh.at] Thanks to Mark, who once bodypainted himself as C-3PO. Soooooooo…that wasn’t a loose transistor is what you’re telling me.

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Not A Dude, Promise: Bodypaint Stormtrooper

You ever wanted to see what a clear turtle looks like? Just ask Giotto, the fifth ninja turtle. “There aren’t five!” Yes huh, you just can’t see him. While the other four were rolling around in the ooze, he was actually drinking that shit . Now he’s invisible and has even seen April O’Neil shower IN TEH NUDE. These are a bunch of animal specimens preserved by Iori Tomita. Oh, but first he makes them clear and dyes their bones and cartridge so they almost look like x-rays . Speaking of which… *dons x-ray specs* HA — nice out-of-season novelty Easter boxers, bro. IT’S SEPTEMBER. Originally, the method of making transparent specimens enzymatically turning the protein transparent, dyeing the bones magenta and dyeing the cartilages blue was established for scientific purposes to study the skeletal system. Taking this a step further to refine the form and coloration of the specimens requires time and experience. I create transparent specimens as pieces of work that help people feel closer to the wonders of life. People may look at my specimens as an academic material, a piece of art, or even an entrance to philosophy. There is no limitation to how you interpret their meaning. I hope you will find my work as a “lens” to project a new image, a new world that you’ve never seen before. WTF is an “entrance to philosphy” (besides not this) aside, if you live in Japan you can actually buy some of Iori’s smaller specimens (fish, shrimp and squid) at a couple stores, but the larger ones (lizards, birds, turtles) are only available at his exhibitions. Plus expensive. Not that you need one anyways because it would just 1. gather dust or 2. get eaten when you’re drunk. Just sayin, I had a college roommate with one of those baby sharks in a jar he got at the beach. That thing tasted like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Hit the jump for a ton more pictures to round out the anatomy lesson.

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What In The…?: Clear Preserved Animals

Two men’s skeletons , originally buried around 700AD, were uncovered that had big-ass rocks jammed in their mouths, a practice that was later reserved for vampires . But, since vampire folklore wasn’t prevalent in the area until the 1500’s, archaeologists now believe it was a zombie scare . Gee — great deduction, guys. *MASSIVE F***ING EYEROLL* One of the men was between 40 and 60 years old, and the other was a young adult, probably between 20 and 30 years old. The two men were laid side by side [although buried at different times] and each had a baseball-sized rock shoved in his mouth. “In this case, the stones in the mouth might have acted as a barrier to stop revenants from coming back from their graves,” Read told Discovery News. Right, zombies . Listen, ‘archaeologists’ — are you familiar with the phrase, “the simplest answer is often best?” These two were chatterboxes . Obviously you’ve never lived with a roommate that doesn’t know when to shut their pie-hole. I actually tried making one eat a gym sock before. He did too. Plus my shoelaces. :/ Did Zombies Roam Medieval Ireland? [discovery] via Zombie Remains of the Day [geeks.thedailywh.at] Thanks to Mike, who wants to be buried with a pie in his mouth. SAME.

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Iffy: Two "Zombie" Skeletons Dug Up In Ireland

Mike Duke, who might have the simplest name ever, modded his late-model Mercury Cougar (which I used to own back in 2001 before sliding it off an icy road , wrapping it around a couple trees and winding up in the ICU for 11 days) into a Bugatti Veyron . Basically by fabricating a giant body kit . Now I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true: you almost lost your Geekologie Writer before you even knew him. Petrolhead Mike Duke, 25, spent nine months transforming his Ford Cougar into a red and black imitation of the 1,000bhp motor. A specially-designed bodykit makes it indistinguishable from a 1million Veyron and the interior has been re-styled and covered in leather. But the engine is the Cougar’s standard 2.5 litre V6 model, meaning its power falls well short of the 1,000bhp developed by the Veyron’s 8-litre powerplant. This means 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds and a top speed of 140mph - a way off the Veyron’s 2.5 seconds and 253mph. Why? Why do single men do anything — to trick women into coming home with them. *fumbling around with keys, finally opens door* “This apartment is dingy.” It’s a safehouse baby, I’m hiding out. “Driving that sports car?” I’m a spy, and spy’s drive fancy cars. “Who are you?” Duke, Mike Duke — Her Majesty’s Secret Service Center and Autobody Repair. Hit the jump for several more shots of the in-process and a couple more angles of the finished product PLUS A LINK TO THE EBAY AUCTION WHERE YOU CAN BUY THE THING ($89K) AND LIVE THE DREAM.

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Man Convincingly Mods $2,000 Mercury Cougar Into $2Million Bugatti Veyron Lookalike

Severed head? Now that’s a VD! In other anatomical news, this is allegedly the skull of Saint Vitalis of Assisi (hoho, your mom was a namby pamby!), the patron saint of venereal diseases . It’s going up for auction soon and I’m going to buy it. Theeeeeeeen wear it around my neck as a talisman to ward off wiener warts. Did I mention in comes in a custom Queen Anne display case? 17th-century craftsmanship, just sayin’! St Vitalis was born in Umbria, Italy, and is said to have lived an immoral and licentious youth. In an attempt to atone for his early sins, he later undertook pilgrimages to shrines throughout Europe, eventually entering the Benedictine monastery at Subiaco. It is said that he wore only rags and shunned all material wealth, with the exception of a basket which he used to fetch water from a nearby stream. He died in 1370, and word of his sanctity soon spread due to reports of numerous miracles performed on those with bladder and genital disorders. Wow, of all the miracles I’d like to perform I can honestly say none involve genital disorders. Sure one might involve turning a tiny-ass wiener into something that drags behind me when I walk, BUT THAT IS IT. Severed head of patron saint of genital disease on sale [bbcnews] Thanks to sean, who allegedly has the head of the patron saint of video games resting on top of his X-Box. Yeaaaaaah, I wouldn’t want that staring at me when I’m trying to play.

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I Will Not Be Outbid!: For Sale, Severed Head Of The Patron Saint Of Venereal Diseases

Bro. Hey bro — your penis fell off. This is a human anatomy LEGO figure (not to be confused with the anatomy OF a LEGO figure ) created by LEGOmaniac and Flickr user Choking Hazards (I know they are but I can’t resist!) and Photoshopped to look like it’s straight out of an old anatomy book. Thankfully it’s not though, because otherwise we’d have a whole bunch of doctors practicing today that can’t tell @$$holes from elbows and stand just as good a chance of removing either if you go in for an appendectomy. Don’t get me wrong, my b-hole isn’t anything to write home about, but I’d still like to keep it. Wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t I, lil b-hole? “Bleach me.” YOU SHUT THE F*** UP OR I WILL STOP WIPING. Hit the jump for a bunch more.

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LEGO Anatomy Model: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Modular Plastic Parts

Nine-year-old Ming Li is just like any other little Chinese girl. Except she has to walk to school uphill both ways and still got run over and her hand cut off by a tractor . At the time, her arm was in such poor shape reattaching the hand was an impossibility. Thankfully, quick-thinking doctors were able to graft it to her foot while her arm healed, and successfully reattach it 3-months later. MODERN MEDICAL MAGIC! Dr Hou Jianxi, spokesman for the hospital in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, said the hand had now been transplanted back on to her arm. “When she came in, her left hand was completely severed from her body. It was very scary,” he told the Zhoukou Evening Post. “But Ming Li can now move her wrist again and her left hand is a healthy pink colour proving that the blood is circulating well.” Li will need two more operations over the next year. One to improve her hand functions and some plastic surgery to remove her scars. But Dr Hou said: “After surgery, and with plenty of physiotherapy, we are confident her left hand will be capable of doing most things. Amazing, I love a story with a happy ending. Huh? DAMMIT PERV — GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER! Get well soon, Ming. And remember, tractors: not the toys Matchbox would lead you to believe. Girl’s hand grafted on to her leg [orange] via Severed Hand Reattached -Three Months Later [neatorama] Thanks to Hankzor411, who once taped a Nerf gun to his arm and pretended he was Mega Man. That’s, uh, pretty sad I’m not gonna lie.

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Little Girl Gets Hand Cut Off, Grafted To Foot

This is glimpse into Hello Kitty’s anatomy as imagined by artist Jason Freeny, best known for his other anatomical renderings . I thought perhaps the most interesting part of this piece is the fact that Hello has a skull but no brain and teeth but no mouth . WTF!? She’s like one of those blind salamanders that lives its whole life in a dark cave. What are those called? Computer nerds. Yes, them . Jason Freeny’s Website Thanks to liquid Tension, who I’ll take over awkward Tension any day.

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Hello Guts: A Look At Hello Kitty’s Anatomy

This is a video of a bunch of different robotic hands showing how dexterous they are at bouncing balls , gripping things, throwing things, catching things and a bunch of other fun stuff robots shouldn’t be allowed to do. I mean, what is this, robot gym class? Next thing you know they’re gonna be whipping your ass with a wet towel in the locker room. WHICH IS ONLY FUN WHEN TWO GROWN MEN DO IT. Am I right guys? Love that game. Youtube Thanks to Chris and Aroinak, who once shot a bot in Reno and didn’t even stick around. Way to go guys, there could have been more.

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Robotic Arms Have Come A Long Way. A Long, Much More Deadly Way (Hold Me)