Inb4 “that looks like a [name some animal]’s penis”. This is a video demonstration of Norway’s new Naval Strike (Magic) Missile. The shakiness made me kinda woozy, but it’s worth checking out if you’ve got the stomach . Me? I’ve got that B-U-T-T-Z. *booty poppin’* The video follows a missile from launch as it flies just over the tops of waves, over an island, and finally through a ship. I’m not sure if civilians are going to be allowed to buy them. The testing for this next-generation anti-ship missile took place off Point Mugu, California in June of this year. According to Konsgberg, the NSM had only 1.5 seconds to acquire and positively ID the ship as its target before striking. The state-of-the-art missile weighs about 400 kg (880 lb) and has a range of 100 nautical miles, both along the coast and in the open ocean. It uses GPS, inertial and terrain reference systems to maintain its bearings. Being a cruise missile, and the only fifth-generation long range precision strike missile in existence, the NSM is capable of flying over land while avoiding obstacles and skimming just above the surface of the ocean to avoid radar detection. The NSM will also make a random high-G-force maneuver in order to confound enemy countermeasures just before it strikes with a 125 kg multi-purpose blast/fragmentation warhead. Hello — Norwegian Navy? This is General Gee Kologie from the US Army’s Antirobotics Division. Huh? What do you mean you’ve never heard of us?! *high-five, hipsters! Jk, jk — don’t touch me* Listen, I need some of these missiles you’ve got. No? Not buying it? What if I told you I’m in middle school and I need one for a science fair project? Hello? HELLO? They hung up on me! “You were talking into a skillet.” I thought it smelled like bacon. Hit the jump for the video. Hit your cubicle-mate for a fight.

The rest is here:
Norway’s New Stealthy Magic Missiles

Seen here looking suspiciously like the Batamaran (see what I did there? I combined bat and catamaran) I drew for part of my Bat-fan fiction (I’m doing it again!) graphic novel, Juliet Marine’s ‘Ghost’ stealth boat makes an appearance off the coast of New England. It floats on a layer of gas generated beneath it to reduce friction and cruise faster, up to 60MPH. Unless an engine’s leaking, then it floats on a layer of oil and dead birds. :/ Gregory Sancoff, president and chief executive officer of Juliet Marine, said the U.S. government is interested and his company is working with a defense contractor to build a 150-foot model. The friction reducing gas technology, called supercavitation, works by generating a low-pressure zone around the ship’s surface. The Ghost keeps a low radar profile the same way stealth planes do, by making the radar waves bounce off of its surface. Admittedly, I would captain one of those. And, okay, probably straight into a pier. Get it? Because it’s so stealth . I f***ing forgot I was even driving a boat! “Stealth” Boat Could Revolutionize Naval Warfare [nbcnews] Thanks to Jeff and Ferris, who agree the stealthiest boat isn’t a boat at all — it’s a sub. $5 footlongs FTW.

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Look Out Batboat, There’s A New Stealth Boat In Town! (Or, Okay, International Waters)

You know what sucks about canoeing ? Trying to get in one and tipping over. Well, that, and you have to paddle , which takes work. Besides that it’s okay I guess but I’d still prefer a motorboat any day. *mashing tits together* Well? I SAID GET YOUR FACE IN HERE! The Adhoc Canoe weighs in at just 4.1 kilos (nine pounds) and shrinks down to fit into a bag that measures 13 x 23 x 70 centimeters (5 x 9 x28 inches). The frame is fashioned from carbon fiber and the hull made from aramid, a polyamide used in bike tires and body armor, among other things. The canoe was designed by Ori Levin, but this is currently the only one in existence. “But I was wanted to add one to my emergency car kit for the next time I drive into a river!” Ha, same. Don’t worry though, I added a video after the jump of a freestyle canoeing championship to make up for it. “Freestyle canoeing — WTF is that?!” In one word? Amazing. Hit the jump for a video of freestyle canoeing championship.

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Nine-Pound Folding Fabric Canoe Fits In A Backpack (NOT IN A BREADBOX)

Johan Huibers, who may or may yes need to stop eating spicy food before bed, had a dream that part of his native Holland flooded . So what did he do — wake up and have a cup of coffee? Hell no — he started construction on a “full-size” replica of Noah’s Ark . I, uh, I would have done the coffee thing. Or — OR — gone back to sleep until I had a good dream. The almost-finished vessel you see pictured above is actually Huibers’ second whack at making an ark of his own. The first was a half-sized replica, though this time the Dutch construction company director decided to go whole hog. It’s even seaworthy, and Huibers plans for his ark to float along the Thames in London ahead of the 2012 Olympics. Though we really have no way of knowing, Biblical scholars peg Noah’s Ark as being somewhere around 300 cubits in length, 50 wide and 30 high. In feet, that translates into a vessel 450 feet long — or about the same as a Romulan Bird-of-Prey — and 75 feet wide and 45 high. Johan’s second ark took three years and $1.6-million of his own dough to complete, but, from the look of it, would only take one un-extinguished cigarette to burn to the waterline . What do you know — I guess Noah really did have good reason for leaving the dinosaurs behind! Get it?! Because their sexy asses be smokin’. Mm mm mmm — just thinkin’ about ‘em makes me feel like I got curry in my penis! Hit the jump for an NBC news report.

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Johan’s Ark: Man Dreams Of Apocalypse, Builds Functional (It Floats) Noah’s Ark Replica

First of all, the only Facebook group you really need to join is Geekologie’s (and NOT The Superficial’s ). But if you’re into joining every group possible you can join this guy’s , whose girlfriend has agreed to let him pirate -theme their house if he gets 1,000,000 fans. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate, and the onlyway I can truely do this is to live aboard a pirate ship, as I am tied into a house and a mortgage with this house, and I dont live anywhere near the sea, the only thing I can do is to turn my house into a massive pirate ship. I already have enough money to buy some wooden slats from B&Q, I just need to get my girlfriend to agree to remortgage the house so that I can afford decking, and masts, and eventually sails. If 1 million people joined this group it would help her understand that this isnt such a bad idea, and lots of people would do it as well, and it would help my dream come true. If you can leave a piratty message on the wall, it would also help. I was going to join but then I saw dude already has 988,756 fans, so he’s practically there. And by ‘there’ I mean on my shit-list. NOBODY OUT PIRATE-HOUSES ME! Facebook Group Thanks to Nikki, Dan, AJ and Lemrin, who all live in ninja-houses and have vowed to burn dude’s pirate house to the ground to prove their stealthy supremacy.

More here:
Guy Needs 1M Facebook Fans And Girlfriend Will Let Him Turn House Into A Pirate Ship

The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid , everyone will tell you it was just a manatee. Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn’t float your boat, it’ll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds. Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don’t want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that’s just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad. Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).

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Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea