Damn — and a good lookin’ 30 if I do say so myself! Don’t worry, I’m not actually gonna cry, maybe just tear up a little. I’m trying to look at it as more of an accomplishment. The end of an era . That, despite all the terrible decisions made and stupid shit I did in my 20’s, I’ve SOMEHOW survived a whopping 10,950 days. Thirty years . Holy shi-shi. Thankfully, I’ll never mentally be a day over fourteen. Birthday aside, August is a very special month for me because it also marks my four year anniversary for writing Geekologie. In that time I’ve written the last 8,713 articles , at least eight of which were funny. “Six.” Agree on seven? “Only because it’s your birthday.” Thank you — that means the world to me. So yeah, I’m thirty today. Feel free to drop some love/hate/dead birds in the comments — I don’t f***ing care, now I’m depressed. To not dying, Your Geekologie Writer

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It’s My Party And I Can Cry If I Want To: I’m 30

That’s right folks, today, February 21st, 2011 marks the 25th anniversary of everybody’s favorite video game franchise. “Not mine, I hate those games .” OH YEAH WELL I HATE YOUR FACE SO THERE. Such a f***ing Ganon. Including the original game’s release on the Famicom Disk System in 1986 (for which it was a launch title), a total of 14 unique and “proper” Zelda games (excluding re-releases) have been published by Nintendo for the Famicom/NES, Game Boy, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Advance, GameCube, DS and Wii. A number of other Zelda games, some not made by Nintendo and others being spin-off titles, have also been released in that time, while the 15th game — Skyward Sword — is due later this year on the Wii. With The Legend Of Zelda: The Ocarina Of Time widely regarded as the greatest game ever made , and with the series as popular and iconic today as it was back in 1986, it retains a very special place in the heart of many gamers Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If you answered, “let’s all head down to Lon Lon Ranch for some cake and milk” you are! I’m gonna drink straight from a cow’s udder! “Uh, GW? That’s a bull.” Soooooooo…this isn’t an udder is what you’re saying. Happy 25th Birthday, The Legend Of Zelda [kotaku] Thanks to Chris G and Luke, who almost love the Zelda franchise as much as I do, except romantically. YA’LL NASTY!

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Yay!: The Legend Of Zelda Turns 25 Today

SPOILED ROTTEN — like an egg! This is a video of a functional Angry Birds bizzle dizzle cizzle made by a father for his son’s sixth birthday . Which, I’m not gonna lie — I want that skull shirt. It’s become a family tradition that I make increasingly ridiculous birthday cakes for my kids each year. So with my little boy Ben turning 6-years-old over the weekend, and appreciating his love of Angry Birds, I thought I’d have a shot a making him a playable Angry Birds birthday cake with working catapult and iced birds as ammunition. Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase “playing with your food” amirite? ” Seriously GW — please tell me you didn’t just write that.” I, uh, totally didn’t just write that. BONY BONERS! That either. I’m also not downloading nakey pictures. Hit the jump for the build and some bird-slingin’ action.

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SPOILED!: Kid’s Playable ‘Angry Birds’ Cake

Can’t decide which superhero you want on your cake ? No problem — just slap a bunch on there! Just don’t slap Hulk’s ass, because he can and will get angry ON YOUR FACE. Robin? Not so much. “Holy tweaked nips, Batman — you could cut glass with those things!” “I know, Robin, just a little something Catwoman taught me from her jewelry-heist days.” …. “Hey Batman?” “Yes Robin?” “Wanna shower together?” “To the bat-throom!” Action Figures Cake [buzzfeed] Thanks to RaptorJesus, hands down the sexiest religious figure for 75-million years and counting.

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Decisions, Decisions: Superhero(es) Cake

Because even God shines his starlight favorably on me for my birthday, the Perseid meteor shower will reach its peak tonight, possibly signaling the apocalypse . Did I mention Mars, Venus, Saturn and the crescent moon will all be clustered together as well? We’re as good as dead. Suck it 2012, you don’t have shit on my 2010 birthday! Across the Northern Hemisphere, the best time to watch the Perseid meteor shower will be tonight through the pre-dawn hours local time Friday, regardless of where you live. Weather permitting, patient skywatchers could see a shooting star every minute or so. Meanwhile, Venus, Mars and Saturn are clustered in the evening sky and will be joined tonight and Friday by the graceful crescent moon. Anyone with clear skies can easily spot the foursome looming above the western horizon as soon as darkness falls. While the planets and our moon are all very far apart in space, they appear lined up this week thanks to a special circumstance of orbital mechanics. The outer planets, Mars and Saturn, take much longer to go around the sun than the inner planet Venus. Venus “laps” the outer planets frequently, and it never strays far from the sun from our vantage point. Now I’m not suggesting you all walk out of work right now and start birthday partying with me until the Meteor Shower of the Apocalypse arrives, but you and I both know it’s the right thing to do. Seriously — how do you want to spend your final hours: working for the man OR GETTING BELLIGERENT WITH THE GW AND SKIPPING OUT ON OUR TAB? Balls are gross in your court. Spectacular Meteor Shower and Rare Planet Alignment Coincide [yahoonews]

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Star Gazing!: Meteor Shower Peaks Tonight

Send a ball , that’s how. Or nothing. Honestly, I’d prefer nothing. At least you won’t piss my mailman off (he already f***s up all my packages). Send a Ball, the online store that lets you create personalized inflatable balls for any occasion, made its ABC Shark Tank debut tonight. Here’s how the business started: “One day I [co-founder Michele) was in Osco, saw a BIN of bouncy balls, grabbed one and thought “I can mail this”. Took a sharpie, addressed it to my BFF Sharon, wrote “Have BALL with your new baby”, went to the post office and mailed it.” Balls start at $20 and include shipment to anywhere in the US. Which, for a $1 ball and $1 worth of postage, is a 1,000% markup. Which I think we can all agree, is the American way. Also: fat with a false sense of entitlement. News video with two annoying chicks after the jump.

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How To: Disappoint A Friend On Their Birthday