Note: Larger shot HERE in case your little sister’s trying to argue it looks more like intestines than brains. SHUT UP LAURA BEFORE I TELL THAT BOY YOU LIKE YOU HAVE SCABIES. Geekologie’s resident anatomy expert Jason Freeny (is it true women pee out of their butts?!) is at it again, this time with a Rubik’s Cube covered in brain. Well, not real brain , just plastic brain. Which, I’m not gonna lie, is way more than I have going on up in the ol’ nog. Read: THERE’S NO LIGHT ON IN MY ATTIC. The basement, yes (I swallowed a flashlight trying to peek at my tonsils in the mirror). Moist Production (Jason’s Website) Thanks to the man himself, who promised me a model of an anatomically correct dino shlong. The bigger the better, Jason, I’ve got a whole lotta love butt to give.

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Rubik’s Brain Cube: Now That’s What I Call A Mind Game (Shoot Me Now, Don’t Hesitate)

Seen here looking like an exploding nebula or some such shit, a strain of flu prepares to have its ass whipped and lil’ tentacle dealies torn off by a new flu vaccine. That’s right folks, scientists at Oxford University believe a vaccine capable of combating EVERY strain of flu is just around the corner. And just around my corner? A homeless man who’ll yell at you if you don’t give him a quarter. Oxford University: 1, my neighborhood: 0 (and -4 after dark!) The treatment - using a new technique and tested for the first time on humans infected with flu - targets a different part of the flu virus to traditional vaccines, meaning it does not need expensive reformulation every year to match the most prevalent virus that is circulating the world. Developed by a team led by Dr Sarah Gilbert at Oxford’s Jenner Institute, the vaccine targets proteins inside the flu virus that are common across all strains, instead of those that sit on the virus’s external coat, which are liable to mutate. If used widely a universal flu vaccine could prevent pandemics, such as the swine flu outbreaks of recent years, and end the need for a seasonal flu jab. Sure it could prevent pandemics, ooooor it could cause the flu to mutate into some sort of zombie virus that makes all our penises fall off and wanna eat each others’ brains. Huh? No not nuts you pervert — actual brains! Then where are we left? We?! There’s no we! Your zombie ass is gonna be left on an island! “Hey, as long as it’s the island from LOST.” Ha, “the island from LOST.” YOU’LL GET ICELAND AND LIKE IT! Flu breakthrough promises a vaccine to kill all strains [guardian] Thanks to Jason, who agrees the best way to combat the flu is pounding some curry as hot as you can stand it at least once a week. If your ass doesn’t spontaneously Mt. Vesuvius on you later that night, you did it wrong. Trust me, I crap my pants on the reg and haven’t been sick in years.

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Scientists One Step Closer To ‘Universal Flu Vaccine’ (Cue Unstoppable Supervirus)

“Yep, definitely a bomb.” Scientists at the University of Colorado have developed the early predecessors of future “bomb-sniffing” plants ( move buzz over, bees !) that can change colors to indicate the presence of specific chemical compounds. No word on how long it takes for the change to take place, but my guess is two peg-legs too late. It only took a small engineering nudge to deputize a plant’s natural, evolutionary self-defense mechanisms for threat detection. “Plants can’t run and hide,” says June Medford, the biologist who’s spent the last seven years figuring out how to deputize plants for counterterrorism. “If a bug comes by, it has to respond to it. And it already has the infrastructure to respond.” Right now, Medford estimates she’s three to four years out. Her labs have genetically-designed plants blanching white when they come into contact with TNT. But that’s in a research lab, where the amount of light is constant, “no wind, no rain, no bugs, no people dumping coffee.” Admittedly, that is pretty impressive. I’m not sure how practical it’ll be except for blanketing old land-mind beds, but who knows. Now genetically modifying weed to be able to run away from cops — that would be impressive. And genetically modifying weed to run away from cops BUT STILL FIND ITS WAY BACK HOME, well, that’s the f***ing future right there. Holy shit he even brought back snacks. BEST WEED EVER! Short video report with more in-depth info after the jump.

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Scientists Develop Bomb-Detecting Plants

Eat a cheeseburger! More like Google Booty , amirite?! Get it? Because everybody always goes straight for the butt ! No? Just me? Liars. The Body Browser is a 3D model of the human anatomy that includes various layers, such as the circulatory and nervous systems and the skeleton and muscles. You can go in nice and close or view the whole shebang from afar. Wow, did I really just spend twenty minutes exploring human genitalia? You bet your sweet ass I did! My own. Does that make me a pervert, or reproductive health professional? Wiener doc? I’ll take it! Hit the jump for a video tour.

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Explore Human Anatomy With Google Body

For realz. On their heads . The species is only a few millimetres wide and scientists say it looks like a flying saucer with a cluster of gonads, or sex organs, on top. “It’s absolutely different from every other jellyfish that’s ever been known,” Dr Gershwin said. “So we not only put it into its own new species and its own new genus, but it’s actually a brand new family.” “Quite possibly and quite humbly the greatest discovery of my career, ever. I mean I’ll be lucky if I ever get a discovery even half as incredible again,” she said. The new species has been named Csiromedusa medeopolis, meaning “jellyfish from CSIRO” and “city of gonads”. So basically discovering the city of gonads is the highlight of Dr Gershwin’s career. That’s, uh, that’s really something. TOO BAD I ALREADY DISCOVERED IT IN COLLEGE! Been there, done that, is there a pube between my teeth, amirite? Experts astounded by ‘city of gonads’ jellyfish [abc] Thanks to Laurel, who doesn’t wear a crown of gonads because she has no interest in being the nut queen. Well let me wear it then. I SAID STOP HOGGIN’ THE BALLS!

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I’d Do It If I Could: Newly Discovered Family Of Jellyfish Wear Their Gonads Like A Crown

The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that’s supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman’s tanning bed of solitude. The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the cellular body’s natural frequencies ranging between 0.0005 and 38,000 Hz. Through intensive treatment with the body’s own healthy frequencies, the organism is regenerated in a natural way. This process is enhanced by specially treated silicium and aluminum depots, which with the help of right spinning protos have an anti-aging effect. Furthermore, longitudinal waves are used as a filter to create more human-like waves, therefore adding pure positive energy to the body. Very convincing technology there. Unfortunately, only 50 of the devices are being made, and “will be offered to a small circle of prominent figures of our time.” But if you showed up with $500K, I guarantee you could get one. And also, maybe some hooker action. Which, let’s be realistic, will do a lot more for you than Quatum-Cell-Coding ever will — provided you wrap it up. Otherwise, cooties bro. Product Website Thanks to Mushishi, who’s also selling a cellular regenerator that looks suspiciously like a microwave oven with no door.

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Worth $500K?: The Human Regenerator

Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs , where it grew into a little tree . Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don’t know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I’m full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens . Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood. After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient’s lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles. Sick! At least he didn’t swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter! Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.

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Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung