You’re riding it wrong. Toyota teamed up with bicycle-maker Parlee to develop a bike with gears you change with your mind . The future is now! Jk jk, if the future were now our transportation wouldn’t even have wheels. Before riding while using its mind-reading capabilities, a cyclist needs to train the bike to read his mind. Its “thought sensitive” helmet picks up brain waves, which are transmitted to the bicycle’s brain-controlled electronic “neurotransmission. ” The cyclist acquaints brain with bike by practicing with an experimental iPhone app, moving a cube on its screen until the neural technology associates that thought with the neurotransmission. Once the link is made, all the cyclist has to do is think in that way and the bike’s gears will shift accordingly. You know, or you could flick the little levers with your thumbs. “THAT’S ARCHAIC!” You’re right. God, what was I thinking? STUPID STUPID STUPID! Hit the jump for a video of the bike build and a short demo.

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Changing Bike Gears WITH YOUR MIND

Seen here doing a rad-to-the-power-of-sick gutter stomp or some shit, a kid rides a BMX bike while attached to a rope swing. And this is an hour of that, cut down to 5:30, because, let’s not kid ourselves, a whole hour would almost be too good to be true. Admittedly, BMX bike -swinging does look kind of fun. Granted my run would end with a broken tree branch and a trip to the hospital, but so did trying to rescue that old lady’s kitten, SO WHAT’S NEW? Hit the jump for the WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

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Rope Swing + BMX Bike = Nice Moves, Bro

In other loosely related ‘things with wheels’ news, here’s a model of a bicycle made entirely out of LEGO bricks that was spotted by LEGOmaniac (and Flickr user) Brickapolis on display at North Carolina’s Brickmagic modular plastic block festival. As you can see, it completely defies the laws of physics. Nice try guys, but I know a bunch of LEGO blocks glued to a real bike when I see one! Also, looks like the back tire’s valve cap fell off. You might wanna pick that up before I decide to put it in my mouth. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the impressiveness.

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Bicycle Made Entirely Out Of LEGO Bricks

Because apparently there’s a market for exhilarating ways to kill yourself (move over, dangerous carnival rides!), a doctor (OF DEATH — move over Kevorkian!) invented the StreetFlyer, a bike ridden while suspended face-down (like this one , but way more modern). NICE BUTTCRACK, LADY! Created by Dr. Carsten Mehring, the StreetFlyer lets a harnessed rider transition between walking along with the ‘bike’ and a prone, lying-on-your-stomach position where you pedal the single rear wheel with your feet and steer the front pair with your arms. At the moment the StreetFlyer only exists as prototypes, but apparently a more marketable and ‘practical’ version is being designed that you could end up seeing on the streets some day. Oh man, can you imagine finding out somebody cut your breaks after you’re already racing down a hill on that thing? WTF are you gonna do then?! SPOILER: Die. Probably hanging out of a parked car. UPDATE : Short video added after the jump thanks to Allie, who was really hoping to see some crash-test footage. Ditto.

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StreetFlyer: A Neck Brace Waiting To Happen

This unicorn bike mod is sort of exactly what it sounds like: a couple pieces of plastic wood that attach to your bicycle to make it look like a unicorn (or a horse with a penis on its head). Just don’t go crapping too many rainbows in the bike lane! The winner of the Seoul Cycle Design Competition 2010, “Horsey,” is a simple kit that allows anyone to turn their roll into a gallop. The designer, Eungi Kim, explains: ‘horsey’ is an attachable bicycle ornament/accessory which makes one’s bicycle look horsey! the ‘horsey’ package includes wooden ornaments (horsey shape body), metal parts, and screws. the manual is very simple so that anyone can easily arrange it according to one’s needs. through this ‘horsey’ project. I wanted to give a special look to bicycles so that people would care about cycling not only as transportation but also as a lovely pet. Awesome job, Eungi, now make me a dragon version. I mean the unicorn is cool and all, I just can’t see myself gallavanting around town on it. Don’t get me wrong, I love unicorns as much as the next six-year old girl, I just prefer something a little manlier when it comes to personal transport. You hear that, Eungi? AND IT BETTER HAVE A FLAMETHROWER. Plus squeaky horn. A couple more shots of the mythical machine after the jump.

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Needs Rainbow Streamers: Unicorn Bike Mod

Some unknown Mario Kart lover went and spraypainted symbols from the game in one of Portland’s bike lanes. Why? Cause that shit’s poppin’, son! Almost makes me want to get a bicycle. Ooooor just drive my car in the bike lane. Look out Lance, daddy’s got a blue shell! Hit the jump for a short news report.

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Portland Bike Lane Gets Mario Kart Treatment

Sure it may look like a regular Porsche GT3 wearing a tinfoil helmet so aliens can’t read its mileage, but it’s actually a pedal-powered scale mockup . HOHO! Now I don’t know about you, but I’d pedal that sucker around town and holler at all the fly honeys . Things like, “HOLY SHIT LADY, GET OUT OF THE WAY I CAN’T STOP!!” She will be so turned on. It’s like taking candy from a baby plowing through the Farmer’s Market in a pedal-car. Hit the jump for a ton more pics, and the link to a whole bunch more.

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Great Fuel Economy, Horrible Everything Else: Full Scale Pedal-Powered Porsche GT3

Artist and Geekologie Reader Eric Tryon went and made himself a skeletal bicycle . It’s fully functional and the arms and head move whenever you make a turn. Plus, it looks like you’re humping a demon skeleton, so ghosts won’t mess with you. Hit the jump for a closeup.

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Pedaling ‘Dem Bones: A Skeleton Bicycle

The Beer Bike was designed and created by Hopworks Urban Brewing of Portland, Oregon, and features two kegs and taps, plus a hot pizza storage unit. Impressive, but I can’t even imagine pedaling two full kegs of beer around. I mean, those bitches are heavy. Granted, I did date a three-keg girl once, BUT I NEVER OFFERED HER A RIDE ON MY HANDLEBARS, NOW DID I?! I didn’t. I always demanded piggybacks! Beer Bike! [mostlyhere] Thanks to Kevin, who built a bike with an actual mobile brewery on the back.

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Mobile Bar: Beer Bike Totes Two Kegs, Pizza

Joules is a robot designed to KILL! pedal the back of a tandem bicycle . And I can honestly say I have absolutely no interest in biking down the street getting cornholed by a robot names Joules. He’s the creation of a guy called Chris who, challenged by his son to create an electric tandem that worked via pedal power, more than satisfied the brief. The nuts-and-bolts robot is powered by a PMG-132 electric motor and, unlike most lazy-assed back-end tandem riders, does all the work himself. Yeah but no but no. As much as I do hate pedaling myself, I’d rather walk my bike up a hill than have this jerk do the work for me. You hear that, Lance Failstrong? YOU WILL NEVER PEDAL ME! Hit the jump for a video of the beast in action.

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Um, No: Tandem Robo-Biker Pedals For You