Pfft, every bottle opener already has a built-in cap -collector — it’s called the floor . It’s pretty awesome. Plus it never misses unless something like a countertop dives in for the catch, in which case, who gives a shit — you just opened a beer. Chug and repeat! Hit the jump for one of the most erotic infomercials I’ve ever seen.

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The Bottle Opener/Cap Collector ALL IN ONE

Hrey whas this brutton do? Space beer , not to be confused with beer made with ingredients grown in space , is beer designed to be consumed in space by future space-tourists. Why does space deserve it’s own beer ? I dunno, but I’m getting pretty jealous about it! The reason why space-goers need their own beer is two-fold. First the carbonation in the beer poses a problem for those zero-G gulpers. Without the buoyancy force that the drink has on Earth, the carbon dioxide, which is dissolved in the beer, doesn’t form bubbles-and who wants to drink a flat beer? Second astronauts often face issues with a deadening of their taste buds. To overcome this tasting deficiency, the Australian company that made the brew decided it should be a stout, with the normal flavors enhanced. The brew was bottled in early September and is expected to make its inaugural flight in November, aboard a plane that flies in long parabolic arcs to create periods of weightlessness. The beer will be tested for its qualitative taste and drinkability (hopefully not by the pilot). The brew is a joint venture between Saber Astronautics Australia and 4-Pines Brewing Company, and, if all goes well, will even be available here on earth for you non-space cadets. But that’s not what I came to tell you about, I came to tell you about getting drunk in space. DON’T TALK SHIT TO ALIENS, THEY WILL BLOW UP EARTH. Next on Space Tourist Menu: Space Beer [cbsnews] Thanks to Fortune, who’s so rich he has a magazine named after him. Share the wealth, bro!

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Space Beer: For Out Of This World Drankin’

This is an animated gif of Leia handing a beer up to Luke after a long flight in his X-wing. I say after because I don’t care how much Force you can harness, your ass is gonna crash into an asteroid if you drink too many before getting behind the wheel stick. Isn’t that right, Admiral Ackbar ? “IT’S A TRAP!” Dammit, no, not everything has to be a trap, man. Now — how do I find out my bank account info, this Nigerian prince really needs my help. “IT’S A –” Not another word you fish-faced f***!! Is This the Best Star Wars GIF Ever? [unrealitymag] Thanks to Micropht, not as big as a regular pht, but it comes in handy when you’re trying to fly under the radar.

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Luke, I Am Your Beer Wench: The Definitive Star Wars Animated Gif

Note: HARdto read/ specialy aif youave been drinlinking, clkick EHRE fora brigger verison. This is a map depicting the United States of Beer . I’m not sure what it’s supposed to teach us , but I am listening intently with the hope of some free samples after class. Which, 100% true story: one time I had to give a peer-reviewed presentation about the wine industry for a marketing class in college and had the other students follow me out to my car afterward and handed out free bottles of Boones Farm. Solid C, baby! Theeeeeeeen I drank the 12 left over and ran through a plate-glass window. Oh sugar-snaps — a bonus ‘United States of Soft Drinks’ HERE for you underage kiddies! The United States of Beer [houstonpress] Thanks to Shenanigans and Amanda, who both agree the best beer in the U.S. is whichever one’s in your tummy gettin’ ya krunk!

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God Bless America: The United States Of Beer

I, for one, would not be disappointed if I found a Guinness truck at the end of a rainbow . Sure a pot of gold and a weensy green man (who you could sell to the circus) would be cool too, but I can always appreciate beer . Did I say appreciate? I meant chug until I pass out. Memories: why so hard to erase? Gloomy Day WIN! [failblog] Thanks to Shenanigans, who once tricked a friend into waiting for the school bus even though it was Saturday. Good one!

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Finally!: What Lies At The End Of A Rainbow

BrewDog, the Scottish brewery best known for its 32% ABV (alcohol by volume) Tactical Nuclear Penguin beer , is back at it with another beer that not only shatters their previous alcohol content record, but also claims the title of most expensive brew. Introducing ‘The End of History’, a 55% ABV beer that costs $765 per 12oz bottle AND COMES IN ITS OWN TAXIDERMIED KOOZIE. But can you suck the eyes out when you’re finished? The beer is the last high abv beer we are going to brew, the end point of our research into how far the can push the boundaries of extreme brewing, the end of beer. This blond Belgian ale is infused with nettles from the Scottish Highlands and Fresh juniper berries. Only 12 bottles have been made and each comes with its own certificate and is presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. The striking packaging was created by a very talented taxidermist and all the animals used were road kill. This release is a limited run of 11 bottles, 7 stoats and 4 grey squirrels. Each ones comes with its own certificate of authenticity. Listen, I’m no stranger to drinking out of animal carcasses. As a matter of fact, I’m drinking out of a bear I killed right now. But that’s not the point. The point is this: I think the small intestines might be leaking cause this beer tastes like shit. Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video the brewery released about the beer.

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Now That’s Classy: World’s Most Expensive Beer Comes In Taxidermied Animal Koozies

The BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt from ThinkGeek is a $20 tee with incorporated bottle opener . I assume BeerBot is supposed to be a copyright-free version of Bender , but I could be wrong. But you’re so handsome. Am I STILL wrong? Never been wronger, butterface! ThinkGeek Product Site via BeerBot Shirt Gets Your Bottles Open [uberreview] Thanks to sara, who knows the best way to drink beer is straight from the barley’s boobie. Wheat’s teat?

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I’ll Stab You: BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt

Now I know what you’re thinking, “PR2? I think I saw that in the theater — I hate sequels”. And that may be true, but I’m not referring to PR2 the fictitious movie sequel, I’m talkin’ bout the beer-fetching robot, yo . Great idea , right? No. Don’t come crying to me when your sixth beer’s poison! …this one can open beer bottles, and its object and face recognition allows it to differentiate brands of beer in the ‘fridge. It uses face detection to deliver it to the right person, and is adaptable to your particular refrigerator. I’d rather train a dog. I don’t even care if it’s an ugly dog. Ugly dogs need jobs too you know. Isn’t that right, Chloe? Kidding — you know you’re my beautiful baby girl! Except for that underbite. Now be a good girl and go make daddy a sandwich. … … …CHLOE!! WHY DOES THIS SANDWICH LOOK LIKE IT CAME OUT OF A CAN ?! Hit the jump for a video of the beer-bot in action.

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Don’t Try To Tempt Me!: Beer Fetching Robot

Readers, I though I’d take a second out of my busy schedule laying in bed to wish you all a happy and safe fourth of July. So get out there and grill something or whatever the hell people do to celebrate. And before you goobers begin the America trolling, remember: some countries don’t even have fireworks. Have a great fourth everybody and I’ll be back tomorrow. Possibly from the hospital! Be safe (you only get 10 fingers), The Geekologie Writer

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Yay, Independence: Happy Fourth Of July!

I was sitting on it the whole time!! Picture [thechive] Thanks to Uberscooter, as badass as a scooter can be.

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