Karmasheetra is a 19.99 (~$32) bedsheet that shows you how to GET. IT. ON. Before you go running out to buy one though: you have to have two people . Otherwise you’re just doing yoga . Just slap your ass, hands and knees on the numbers corresponding to the particular position you’ve chosen, and presto!, you’re not disappointing your lover for once. Kidding, of course you still are . I actually bought one before reading the directions and thought you were supposed to play it like Twister. I wound up banging the back of my own knee. I’m not really proud of it, but I DID just tell you, so obviously I’m not really that ashamed either. Hit the jump for one more shot and a link to the product page.

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Karmasheetra: Color-Coded How To Get It On

Is there anything more relaxing than falling asleep counting stars on your ceiling? Yes, tons — including bubble baths . But it’s still a good time, and galaxies far far away from passing out on the bathroom floor. Jk jk, I love that shit. Mmmm, SO COLD ON MY BARE CHEST. today, the company fixed the release date (September 15) and price ($91) for the planetarium. The scaled replica projects about 10,000 stars onto the ceiling in your living room, and as a bonus, it shows the location of the Death Star, too. The R2-D2 Planetarium uses a 1W white LED as a light source, runs for three hours on four AAA batteries and stands 21cm high. It has a projection range of 1.5-2.3m/4.9-7.5ft and a projection area of 1.8m/5.9ft circumference. Would be great in your kid’s bedroom, right? Hell no, that thing belongs in the master! Especially if you’re gonna be playing a little Luke and Leia role-playing. “Please tell me you meant Han and Leia.” *dry-heaving* Yeah I just realized. Hit the jump for a closeup of the star pattern.

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Let There Be Light Stars: R2-D2 Planeterium

Anybody seen my Power Glove ? I can’t perform without my Power Glove on . Whew, found it . Now — I want you to pretend like I’m a game cartridge that won’t play. Two more shots of the “wait — where are you going?!” after the jump.

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I Put On My Robe And Game Genie Hat…

Let’s not kid ourselves: you can’t watch mixed martial arts without getting aroused. So why not move those amorous feelings to the bedroom with a cage fighting bed? I can’t think of a good reason (well, besides the $1250 price tag). Pillow fight! Crafted from poplar hardwood poles, MDF frame with steel undercarriage bed supports. With the use of actual fencing, 9 gauge 6 core centers, foam padded rails and synthetic leather covers, this will last forever, just like the real deal. MDF Stairs include replica diamond plating Throwdown Anvil detail. Looking to get this bed for someone other than the little guy or gal? In addition to Twin, we have Full, Queen and King size as well! Oh man, this reminds me of the first time I walked in on my roommate having sex. Get it?! Because he was with another dude. Plus there was a ref. Product Site Thanks to BooGT, who [insert something about a rear naked choke-hold].

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Let’s Get It On!: MMA ‘Throwdown’ Caged Bed

NOTE: Commercial for the WTF You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me Blanket is after the jump. The Better Marriage Blanket is an actual damn product , officially signaling the end of mankind. Or maybe just flatulence -related divorces! It’s basically a comforter with a layer of activated carbon sewn in so when you rip a squirty one your partner doesn’t have to smell it. Unless they’re into that sort of thing, in which case I have a blanket beyond their wildest dreams. Hit it for the I know I shouldn’t be surprised this exists but I’m still disappointed with humanity.

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It’s Anti-Toot!: The Better Marriage Blanket

China. They all seem to come from China. And let me tell you something: I’m sure as hell not eating the cat food there. A kitty in Chongqing, China, is getting some extra-special attention these days: The furry feline has developed wings! Though born looking completely normal, once the cat hit the age of 1, he began growing wing-shaped appendages on either side of his spine. According to the Telegraph’s report, scientists believe the appendages developed due to grooming habits, a genetic defect or a hereditary skin condition. Nice one, scientists. How about you just admit you have no effing clue. That said, I change my mind about not eating Chinese cat food (zing, local Chinese restaurant). I’m gonna grow wings! Climb aboard ladies, I’ll take you places no other woman has ever been. The moon! My bedroom . Washed the dinosaur sheets just for you baby. Also, I have a mini-fridge. With snacks. Cat in China grows a pair of wings [msnbc] Thanks to Sharkey and Paul, who are holding out for flying dogs like that funky bitch Falcore the Luck Dragon from The Neverending Story .

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Where Are These Flying Cats Coming From?