Because themed engagement photos are all the rage these days (you crazy kids!), Geekologie Reader Sean K. and his bride-to-be decided to spice up their photoshoot in the park with a ninja attack . Aaaaaaaand these are those pictures. Because if there’s one thing that brings a couple closer, it’s killing a complete stranger together. Trust me (one time a date and I accidentally ran over a bum and she wanted to drive straight to Vegas to tie the knot). Hit the jump for several more of the battle, but be sure to check out the link to the photographer’s Flickr for the entire set (which may or may yes include a vagrant checking the dead ninja’s pockets for cash!).

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Martial Arts Marriage: Ninja Attack Engagement Photos

This is a video of a praying mantis ( Idolomantis Diabolica — the Devil’s Flower Mantis) showing off his ninja-ing skills on some dude’s thumb . Honestly, I can’t even believe this thing exists in real life. Of course I said the same thing about Double-Stuffed Oreos , and yet there they are, soaking at the bottom of my milk glass. Hit the jump for the what you get when an insect LITERALLY pollinates a flower.

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Ninja Praying Mantis Battling A Guy’s Thumb

This is a rap battle between Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking . It was surprisingly well made (I don’t expect anything to be well made anymore). The only thing I didn’t like was Einstein talking so much smack on my man Hawking for his disability. Low blows, especially coming from the man with a theory of relative-ity. RELATIVE-ITY, get it? HE MARRIED A F***ING COUSIN! A first one. NOT SMART! (Hawking FTW) Hit the jump for angsty scientists trying to tell each other off.

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Historic Rap Battles: Einstein Vs. Hawking

This is a short video demonstrating Vecna Robotics’ B.E.A.R. (Battlefield Extraction-Assist Robot). It was allegedly designed to help carry wounded soldiers off the battlefield , but the video also shows its adeptness at smashing through doors , breaking car windows , lifting weights, picking up missiles and transforming/rolling out. Truly frightening. Reminds me of that scene in Forrest Gump where Lieutenant Dan gets his legs shot off in Vietnam and tells Forrest to leave him but Forrest won’t because he’s a stupid jerk and can’t even respect a man’s dying wishes. THANK A LOT, MORON. Ooooh, is that shrimp cocktail? Hit the jump for a video of operation Shock ‘n Awe Dismember in action (also available in HD!).

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Not Cool: Frightening Robot Demonstration

I’ve been trying to avoid posting t-shirts lately because a lot of you think t-shirt articles are lame, but then I realized I’m a man who has to follow his heart ask his mom for a ride to the mall later, and I should do whatever I want. Plus this is a f***ing dino with lasers and a battle axe . It’s very Dino-Riders. And if you’re not into that I’m not even sure you should be here in the first place. Doctors should probably smush you back up into your mom’s vagina UNTIL YOU GROW A BRAIN. Also, an extra inch or two down there certainly wouldn’t kill your girlfriend either. Plus you’d stop soaking your pubes every time you pee (you cry because it’s true). Anyway, $9 plus $2 shipping ($5 international) takes the shirt home BUT ONLY UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN. After that it’s gone, but you still have two hours to convince a skank at the bar to come home with you. Tee Fury (different shirt tomorrow) Thanks to Comfort Eagle, Holy Crap! Lions!, Phloyd, Spartacus, Blaqk Panda, Vasssskk, Leeman, Xager, Quintin, JDARKHUNTER, R Fletcher, Whit, Quax, Lea C, supertt, Mr T, Patrick, Nikki, JAMES, The Awesome Sauce Wyatt and Andy, who were all sewn out of 100% polyester badassery and silkscreened with dildos on their chests awesomeness.

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Today Only: Battle-Dino Shirt At Tee Fury

Future college dropout Matthew didn’t know how to work out problem #1 on a recent algebra quiz , so instead he filled the space with an amateur sketch of Charizard attempting to burninate (Trogdor tie-in FTW) the answer out of the ruins of his ineptness. Unfortunately, the teacher came back and PWN’d Matthew’s Charizard with an even worse drawing of Blastoise (which may or may not actually be a flea). Wow guys, is this what higher education has come to — Pokmon math battles? Because that’s awesome if it has. Pokmon Calculus Fail [albotas]

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It’s No Spider: Pokmon Battle Algebra