This is a short series of cartoons of Batman characters in the style of Dr Seuss drawn by DeviantARTist DrFaustusAU. Which reminds me — my roommate and I got into a huge fight a couple weeks ago because he was trying to tell me it was the Joker who killed Batman’s parents. Can you believe that shit?! What an assclown. It was Lex Luthor, right? Hit the jump for the others.

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The Cat(woman) In The Hat: Batman In Style Of Seuss

Saturday Night Live has been sucking so hard lately I doubt they even know which way is up anymore, but this week’s Steve Buscemi episode was the best they’ve done in awhile. Obviously, the success can be credited entirely to Steve because every episode he wasn’t on this season blew. It’s called the scientific method, folks, I practice that shit . No, no I don’t. But I do practice witchcraft and stripping in front of a mirror before bed at night. *grinding bedpost in nothing but a shrunken head talisman* You like that, Teddy? You like what you see, Mr. Bear? I OWN YOUR SOUL. Hit the jump for arguably the best thing to come out of SNL this season. Oh — and stop recycling those shitty fake commercials. You really can’t produce two extra minutes of material a week after rehashing three entire skits that weren’t funny the first time?

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SNL’s Steve Buscemi As Commissioner Gordon Skit

This is a for-real video of a guy who poses as a 15-year old girl online (been there, done that amirite?!), gains the interest of some pedo , and agrees to meet them in real life. Then dude shows up dressed as Batman and calls the pedo out. This is a video of that happening. It’s hands down better than Batman Forever and Batman & Robin combined. Hit the jump for the skeez.

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Batman Pulls A Chris Hansen, Trolls A Predator

This is Justin Bibber’s (I feel like if I never acknowledge him by spelling his name right maybe he’ll go away) Batman Cadillac. It looks pretty cool. Well, at least until there’s a scrawny 17-year old behind the wheel . Then it looks completely f***ing ridiculous. Dubbed the Bat-illac [GW's note: I vote Beibmobile], the car is actually a Cadillac CTS-V customized by Ryan Friedlinghaus, the founder of West Coast Customs and star of the TLC reality series Street Customs…The Batman tribute features the comic book character’s logo on the front and back of the car, with doors that open in reverse similar to the Rolls Royce Drop Head Phantom Coup, and even has a “batmobile” nameplate on the trunk. Good choice, Justin. Because if there’s one thing I think when I think Batman IT’S A TWINKY 120-POUND R&B SINGER. Shit, even given your entire adult life you’ll never be half as manly as Robin and he’s 3/4’s lady. Hit the jump for a bunch more, the last of which includes the boy-wonder himself looking suspiciously like a miniature Tosh.0.

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Justin Beeber’s Custom Batman Cadillac

This is Batman’s costume from the Arkham City game made in real life by the folks at The FX Labs. Am I going to steal it and wear it on Halloween? No. Am I going to steal it and wear it everyday except Halloween? Yes (I’ve already committed to going as a sexy XBox controller). Although it was difficult to make the suit wearable because “nobody in the world is proportioned like [Batman],” the FX Lab pulled it off by stitching together several flexible pieces that move with the wearer. They didn’t sacrifice accuracy, either. They even emulated the way the suit can look blue or grey depending on the light. Awesome, it even gives you fake muscles and everything — not that I need them! *flicking syringe, injects* “Please tell me those weren’t steroids.” Oh f*** no, that was 100% horse tranquili– *collapses drooling onto own crotch* Hit the jump for a couple different angles/closeups.

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Batman’s Arkham City Costume Made IRL

Ever wonder who does all the sexy-ass motion capture work for femme fatale Harley Quinn in the Arkham series of Batman games ? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER : a sassy little Asian dude. Hit the jump for the tricky reveal video that I guarantee was watched by at least a couple thousand fanboys with their pants around their ankles before the twist (read: wiener-y) ending.

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Oh Shishi — It’s Sexy Time!: Harley Quinn’s Motion Capture Model For The Arkham Games

Batman: Arkham City — everyone’s got a bat-boner about it. And rightfully so, the first game was the shit minus that ‘combat challenges’ part which made me ragequit and scream at my television for like a week straight. And here are all the alternative Batman costumes, each of which is obtained by pre-ordering the game from a different store (and one from buying the collector’s edition). A breakdown, from left to right on the bottom: Batman Beyond : UK Gamestop or NZ’s MightyApe, no word on US distribution yet. Dark Knight Returns : buy the collector’s edition Batman Earth One : NZ’s MightyApe. No word on US distribution 70’s Batman : pre-order from Toys R Us or UK’s Shopto.net Animated Series : pre-order from New Zealand’s MightyApe, no word on US distribution Regular Batman : buy the game from anywhere or download it illegally Robin (unshown): pre-order from Best Buy Pissed because you want them all? Don’t worry, apparently they’ll all be available as both XBox and PS3 DLC eventually. “Or will they be?” GAH — CURSE YOU, RIDDLER! No but for real though, they will be — or my name isn’t Harvey Dent. “Batman: Arkham City” Collector’s Edition Details Leak [comicbookresources] and Arkham City Skins Announced so Far and How to Get Them [arkhamcity] Thanks to Dom S. and laurie, who tried to tell me I could get an Aquaman costume if I pre-ordered from the pet store but then when I called Petsmart they just f***ing laughed at me. :/

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Other ‘Arkham City’ Bat Costumes Revealed

This is allegedly a series of equations that, when entered into a graphing program , form the Bat-symbol. I have no clue if it’s accurate or not since I spent the entirety of high school math classes playing Drug Dealer on a TI-83, but I’ll take their word for it. Plus I remember in Algebra my teacher held a contest to see who could make the most interesting picture on their graphing calculator . One kid did a pretty impressive smiley face. Another did a little house. Me? I used a felt-tip pen to draw a pecker on the screen . I got disqualified. PLUS detention :/ Batman Equation is Answered with the Bat-Symbol [techeblog] Thanks to Shirley, who made her lab partner lick the frog they were dissecting because he was in love with her.

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Batman, The Answer’s Batman: The Batquation

WARNING: Videos after the jump will 100% prevent you from ever looking at Batman the same again. Some jerk-off tourist, clearly pissed Batman’s grappling hook turned out to be a hairbrush tied to a ball of yarn, decided to beat the shit out of the masked crusader on a street-corner in Las Vegas . It, uh, gets pretty brutal. Luckily, the first video I embedded after the jump has comical ‘BIFF!’, ‘POW!’ and ‘SLAM!’ effects added to make it more tolerable. The whole, unedited (and much sadder) video follows, which may or may yes included Gotham’s greatest hero grabbing his Batpeen and telling the villain to “suck his m’er f’in d”. Daaaaaaamn Bruce — Robin’s gonna be jealous as a mofro! Hit the jump for a whole bunch of superhero sadness.

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Batman Gets His Ass Handed To Him In Vegas

Note: Low-res shots are after the jump but there’s some much more worthwhile high-res shots HERE , HERE and HERE in cause you want to use your Bat-Goggles to scan the scene for semen stains. This is the Eden Hotel’s Batman suite in Kaohsiung City, Taiwan. It costs $50 per 3-hours which is weird because I figured a person who’d stay in a Batman-themed hotel room is either A) nine, or B) not getting laid. “Jesus, GW, they pay for it.” A-HA! Wait — pay for what? Hit the jump for the low-res shots.

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The $50 Per 3-Hours Batman Hotel Room