Did I say jiggling? Because I meant juggling . I’m just not gonna change the headline because I figured the sensationalism might attract some more traffic. “Like opening a nudey bar at the mall?” Exactly like opening a nudey bar at the mall. This is a robot that can juggle five balls simultaneously. Plus it makes the sound of a robot diddling its dipstick while it operates, so that’s a bonus. Just not the kind of bonus you’d want to call in the next 15-minutes to receive. Hold on, there’s a clown at the door and he’s crying. There there, buddy — they’re not gonna take your job away from you. Huh? That’s not why you’re crying? You found Tiny dead in the trunk of the clown car?!?! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO DO A HEAD-COUNT AFTER EVERY PERFORMANCE! Hit the jump for a whole bunch of ball juggling goin’ on.

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Another Day, Another Ball-Jiggling Robot

Hit him in the eyes! This is the Rollin’ Justin. He can catch two balls thrown near him at the same time. Say hi to all the readers, Justin. “beep boop bzzt DESTROY.” Oh shit! …the robot is able to position itself within two centimeters of where it needs to be in a time window of only five milliseconds, which yields an impressive catch rate of better than 80 percent. Admittedly, that’s a pretty impressive catch rate. I’m probably more around 50%. Less than 10% with just my right hand. *dirty look* You’re not even good at the mouse buttons! A video of catchbot catching after the jump (with bonus making coffee footage!!!!11)

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Run For The Hills: A Ball-Catching Robot

Knokkers (slogan: Knokkers are big fun!) is a giant game of pool with no sticks and bowling balls instead of billiard ones . [Insert 10lb balls joke here] It’s the brainchild of Steve Wienecke, who undoubtedly stayed up countless nights trying to think up a better name than Big Balls Bangin’. (I would’ve just run with it, Steve). …the first playable version was built in his backyard in Fredericktown, Missouri using loads of railway ties, gravel and of course concrete. The game is played pretty much exactly like standard 8-ball pool, the only real difference is that before your shot you’re allowed to pick up and move the cue ball, though you can’t move your feet once you’ve touched it. Steve is currently working with investors as they design a portable version of the game that doesn’t require a permanent backyard investment, including more durable 6-pound balls that can stand up to the constant collisions experienced during a regular game. I’m not gonna lie, I’d get drunk and play it. Also, shuffleboard . “Jesus GW, what are you, 80?” No, but I probably have the liver and bladder of one! “OMG, ARE YOU PEEING YOUR PANTS RIGHT NOW?!” I don’t know — am I? Official Site and Facebook Page via Knokkers - Billiards & Bowling, Together At Last! [ohgizmo] Thanks to Stephan, who admits the closest he’s every come to playing with Knokkers is mashing his own moobs together in the mirror. Okay now that’s just f***ing sad.

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Knokkers: Like Pool, But With Bowling Balls

For realz. On their heads . The species is only a few millimetres wide and scientists say it looks like a flying saucer with a cluster of gonads, or sex organs, on top. “It’s absolutely different from every other jellyfish that’s ever been known,” Dr Gershwin said. “So we not only put it into its own new species and its own new genus, but it’s actually a brand new family.” “Quite possibly and quite humbly the greatest discovery of my career, ever. I mean I’ll be lucky if I ever get a discovery even half as incredible again,” she said. The new species has been named Csiromedusa medeopolis, meaning “jellyfish from CSIRO” and “city of gonads”. So basically discovering the city of gonads is the highlight of Dr Gershwin’s career. That’s, uh, that’s really something. TOO BAD I ALREADY DISCOVERED IT IN COLLEGE! Been there, done that, is there a pube between my teeth, amirite? Experts astounded by ‘city of gonads’ jellyfish [abc] Thanks to Laurel, who doesn’t wear a crown of gonads because she has no interest in being the nut queen. Well let me wear it then. I SAID STOP HOGGIN’ THE BALLS!

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I’d Do It If I Could: Newly Discovered Family Of Jellyfish Wear Their Gonads Like A Crown

Send a ball , that’s how. Or nothing. Honestly, I’d prefer nothing. At least you won’t piss my mailman off (he already f***s up all my packages). Send a Ball, the online store that lets you create personalized inflatable balls for any occasion, made its ABC Shark Tank debut tonight. Here’s how the business started: “One day I [co-founder Michele) was in Osco, saw a BIN of bouncy balls, grabbed one and thought “I can mail this”. Took a sharpie, addressed it to my BFF Sharon, wrote “Have BALL with your new baby”, went to the post office and mailed it.” Balls start at $20 and include shipment to anywhere in the US. Which, for a $1 ball and $1 worth of postage, is a 1,000% markup. Which I think we can all agree, is the American way. Also: fat with a false sense of entitlement. News video with two annoying chicks after the jump.

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How To: Disappoint A Friend On Their Birthday

A teen has filed a class-action lawsuit against Amazon for remotely deleting a copy of George Orwell’s ‘1984′ off his Kindle without his knowledge or the right to do so. Justin D. Gawronski, 17, “now needs to recreate all of his studies,” alleges the complaint filed Thursday in Seattle by the law firm KamberEdelson, LLC. Gawronski took copious notes using the Kindle that were linked to particular passages in the book, the court document says, and while those notes are still accessible, they are useless without the passages they reference. Amazon has apologized for remotely deleting copies of 1984 and another Orwell novel, Animal Farm, in mid-July without informing customers. Jay Edelson, the lead attorney in the lawsuit, said in a statement that the plaintiffs “appreciate Amazon.com’s new-found contrition, but words are not enough. Amazon.com had no more right to hack into people’s Kindles than its customers have the right to hack into Amazon’s bank account to recover a mistaken overpayment.” Now I’m not saying Amazon should have done that, but I am saying that Justin is pretty lazy for not just going back through the book and finding the passages again. Not that it matters anyways because I’m pretty sure this is just a sorry excuse for not having your homework ready on time. But seriously, one time my dog really did eat my homework. And by homework I mean weed. Amazon sued for wrecking teen’s Kindle work [msn] Thanks to Laura and Joemo, who would have just sent their teacher a corrupted file like a normal person.

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Teen Suing Amazon For Deleting Book From Kindle, Or, Why I Don’t Have My Homework