Remember BigDog from Boston Dynamics? Ha, how could you forget , it haunts our dreams at night (well at least mine anyways). And now the creators have been awarded a grant from DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) to build ‘Cheetah’, a smaller, faster-than-human version capable of hunting. Basically, a fully-functional killer version of this guy . Greaaaaaaaat. *jams a porkchop between your buttcheeks* As the name implies, Cheetah is designed to be a four-legged robot with a flexible spine and articulated head (and potentially a tail) that runs faster than the fastest human. In addition to raw speed, Cheetah’s makers promise that it will have the agility to make tight turns so that it can “zigzag to chase and evade” and be able to stop on a dime. Aside from its unspecified military applications, Cheetah’s makers see it galloping to the rescue and building a brave new future in the fields of “emergency response, firefighting, advanced agriculture and vehicular travel.” So — is anybody here still convinced the robot apocalypse is just a make-believe story I tell my dogs before bed so they don’t get off the couch in the middle of the night? If so, raise your hand. Skynet — please take all these @$$holes first and give the rest of us a fighting chance. Now — who knows the best way to kill a robotic cheetah? *pointing* You, with the glasses. “With kindness?” Yeaaaaaaaah, you try that. Then, while it’s busy tearing all your limbs off, I’ll shoot it with a rocket launcher. ROCKET LAUNCHER, MORON, ROCKET LAUNCHER WAS THE ANSWER. Darpa’s Cheetah-Bot Designed to Chase Human Prey [wired] Thanks to Kristen and jdivo, who want to know if you throw a robotic cheetah if it always lands on its feet. SPOILER : No. It lands on your face. With its claws out. Then your face disappears.

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BigDog’s Creators Get DARPA Grant To Build A Faster, Human-Hunting Robotic Cheetah

Listen: I love puking in my mouth, having it spill out into the hand covering my mouth, then into the other hand at my chin, and ultimately onto the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor as much as the next normal person. That is to say, a lot. But I don’t need any bacon-flavored effervescent tablets to do the trick. Do I, booze ? That’s right — only you. God I love ya. So agreeable. If you drop one of these magic tablets into a glass of water it will instantly begin to dissolve, creating a cascade of bubbles that will infuse the water with a delicious bacon flavor. But don’t limit yourself to water. These Effervescent Drink Tablets work just as well in milk, juice or soda. Great for making bizarre beverages or slipping into a friend’s drink when they’re not looking. Each 2-1/4″ (5.7 cm) round tin contains about fifteen tablets. $3.50 scores a tin, which might actually be worth it considering you could secretly replace one of your wife’s Alka-Seltzers as a joke. Yes, now that I think about it, I want you to do that and report back to let me know how it went. Well? Whoa whoa whoa — hospital?! WTF’S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU DIDN’T TELL ME SHE WAS PREGNANT!! Which — weird she didn’t like it. Product Site Thanks to Matt and Joe B, who both put entire tins in a gallon of whole milk and chugged it. You, sirs, are gods among disgusting eating contest contestants.

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Diiiiiiiiiiisgusting: Bacon-Flavored Fizzy Tablets

So I’m in Manhattan Beach waiting for some wine and cheese festival to begin (because I’m classy as shit free booze) and thought to myself, “self, you should really go the closest bar and write Geekologie articles until the wine starts flowing. You know, get a head start on the festivities.” BOOM — here I am! Popsicle handguns: they teach kids about gun safety. In 2003, Florian Jenett and Valentin Beinroth placed about 50 handgun replicas in downtown Frankfurt. The guns were made from tinted ice, making them look real at first sight. In 2009 they did a new edition of their Freeze! project but made the guns eatable by using coke, licorice, cherry and food coloring. I can hear the soccer moms screaming in outrage even as I type this. It’s like music to my ears . That said, you really shouldn’t encourage children to put gun-shaped objects in their mouths. Paint chips and LEGO blocks, sure, but guns? Not cool . Also not cool: this beer I’ve been drinking. Shit’s hotter than demon urine. OMG — I picked up somebody’s leftover . I was wondering why there was a napkin in the glass! Hit the jump for three more incredibly sensual shots, including a chick that looks like that chick that pretended to be a dude in that one movie.

Link:
Pull The Trigger, DO IT!: Popsicle Handguns

Barbie Video Girl is a new $50 doll with integrated video camera so girls can make movies of themselves playing in their bedrooms from Barbie’s point of view. This is going to end badly. You dun goofed, Mattel! The Barbie Video Girl Doll ($50, Mattel, for ages 6 and up) looks just like a regular Barbie, but a closer look reveals a camera in her pendant, and a postage-sized color screen on her back, peaking through her blouse. Powered by two AAA batteries (one in each leg), the doll can record up to 30 minutes of Webcam quality AVI video, with a three-button interface. You can watch your recordings on the doll’s screen, but with no sound. Or you can transfer them to your Macintosh or Windows computer by way of the included mini-U.S.B. cable. Granted I would have killed for a He-Man cam growing up so I could have filmed myself playing naked Master of the Universe, but you know what? So would’ve my uncle. Product Site via Lights, Camera, Barbie? [gadgetwise] Thanks to Kate, who sent me a stuffed dino with a camera in the eyes. Nice try, Kate, but I always blindfold him.

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Bad Ideas: Barbie Video Girl Has Integrated Video Camera

Remember Japan’s plans to put a humanoid robot on the moon by 2015 ? Well apparently that’s only Phase 1 of their $2 billion master plan , because now they want an entire robotic colony on the moon by 2020. Not if I have anything to do with it! (I don’t is the f***ing problem) As currently envisioned, the robots that will land on the lunar surface in 2015 will be 660-pound behemoths equipped with rolling tank-like treads, solar panels, seismographs, high-def cameras and a smattering of scientific instruments. They’ll also have human-like arms for collecting rock samples that will be returned to Earth via rocket. The robots will be controlled from Earth, but they’ll also be imbued with their own kind of machine intelligence, making decisions on their own and operating with a high degree of autonomy. Those initial surveyor bots will pave the way for the construction of the unmanned moon base near the lunar south pole, which the robots will construct for themselves. That base will be solar powered and provide a working/living space future robot colonizers, as well as — presumably — a jumping off point for future human moon dwellers. God, can you imagine if the first contact we have with aliens is through Japan’s robotic moon colony? They’ll Alderaan our asses! Japan Plans a Moon Base by 2020, Built by Robots for Robots [popsci] Thanks to Mike, Stealth Logic, jondeelee, Tom, Bender and Monsterrod Von Hugenstien, who are all voting ‘NO’ this November on Proposition Moonbase 2020.

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Dammit Japan, That’s Nacho Green Cheese!: Japan’s Plan For Robotic Moonbase By 2020

This is a mic stand that looks like a robotic hand . I want to smash it with my guitar and set it on fire , just like Jimi Hendrix would’ve. It was designed and built by artist Chris Conte ( THIS JERK ) for Adam Gontier, the front man of Three Days Grace.” Now I’ve never even heard of Three Days Grace, and you better believe I’m not gonna start listening now. As a matter of fact, I bet you $4 if you play their album backwards it’s all about robot worship and cyborg orgies. Not cool, guys, not cool. The greatest mic stand ever made [dvice]

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No Thank You: Terminator Hand Mic Stand

Hanako is a Japanese robot patient used to train aspiring dentists . I don’t know about you, but if I was operating on that thing I would drill every single one of its teeth out sans drugs . Then crowbar it in the face and call its mother Robocop. Hanako will respond when greeted and asked several questions, and will react to the dental student working on its mouth. She can open and close her mouth when ordered, perform random actions such as a sneeze and even discharge saliva. Touch sensors in her mouth will have her wincing in pain if a press is too hard or an instrument goes somewhere it shouldn’t, or gag violently if things go south. “….if things go south”?!? I’m not putting my wiener anywhere near that thing! Hit the jump for a video of Hanako in action.

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Needs More Fillings: Robotic Dentistry Patient

Awesome, a lamp powered by human blood . Because this will end well. What if, every time you wanted to switch on a light, you had to bleed? Would you think twice before illuminating the room, and in turn, using up energy? That’s the idea behind the blood lamp, invented by Mike Thomspon, an English designer based in The Netherlands. The lamp contains luminol - the same chemical forensic scientists use to check for traces of blood at a crime scence. Luminol reacts with the iron in red blood cells and creates a bright blue glow. To use the lamp, you first need to mix in an activating powder. Then, you break the glass, cut yourself, and drip blood into the opening. And this, my friends, is how our robotic overlords will read their Kindles at night. And I’ll be damned if I become some robot’s lamp juice. You hear me?! You will never take my blood! Quick, Edward , bite me! DO IT NOW, NANCY! *swoon* God I love your hair. Lamp Runs On Human Blood [livescience] Thanks to Dustin, who has never kissed a vampire (he didn’t like).

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Don’t Tell The Robots!: Blood Powered Lamp

Well folks, it looks like we’re starting Friday off entirely wrong with only stories from the robot front . I recommend running out for beer now so you can stay safely tucked away in your robot-shelter all weekend building a powerful burning laser blaster. I’m not even kidding. Anyway, this is the Dustbot from Italy — it comes to haul your refuse away. AND YOUR CHILDREN. MWUAHAHAHHAHAHA! What the hell’s wrong with me? The Dustbot can be summoned to your address through a mobile phone any time of the day. The robot works with a combination of GPS navigation and with a gyroscope to keep it upright. There are also a number of sensors on the machine so it does not bump into anything. Dustbot’s inventors say they hope it will put an end to fixed times for rubbish collection and they say it is designed to work in tightly packed urban areas where large refuse trucks find it difficult to operate. Anybody here live in Italy? Great, now I know this might sound crazy, but I want you to hear me out. I want you to call the Dustbot to your house. Still with me? Take a deep breath, you can change your drawls later. Now listen: when the Dustbot arrives I want you to pack that bitch full of explosives and kick it off a cliff into the ocean after chumming the water real good to attract sharks. TA-DA! — two birds stoned at once. Dustbot the street cleaning robot [bbcnews] Thanks to Dave Fancypants, who has Bedazzled the hell out of every pair of jeans he owns.

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On Call: Dustbot Comes To Collect Garbage

Wow, they’re not even trying to make them look cute anymore. The Japanese born ROBOTOPS is a construction robot whose name is spelled in all caps because IT MEANS BUSINESS. The killing business. The four-legged, two-armed robot is actually a kind of automated mobile crane with 29 functioning joints for picking off humans, and of course the occasional piece of construction material. Using a high quality three-chip CCD camera, the robot can be operated remotely for particularly dangerous jobs. And no, I didn’t alter that quote at all. Finally, people are starting to get the picture. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that sees a problem here. Seriously, Japan — you know I love you (manga, sushi, worn panty vending machines), but this shit has got to stop. Because if not, well, Godzilla . Just sayin’, we share a special bond (read: intercourse). Japanese construction firm unleashes insectoid robot crane on humanity [dvice] Thanks to cougar78, Aaron and John, who know the only good robots are the little guys from Batteries Not Included . Am I right? No, that was a test and you all failed.

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No, No, No: Japanese Killer Construction Bot