This is a 30-second video of four dudes playing shuffleboard badminton with lightsabers special-effected in over their racquets. It would have been cooler if the editor had turned the shuttlecock into one of those lightsaber training balls like Luke uses on the Millennium Falcon , but it’s obvious somebody wasn’t thinking. “Her-her, did he just say turn a shuttlecock into balls?” I did, and I’m going to turn yours into a f***ing lizard if you don’t start acting your age. Hit the jump and get your recreational Force on.

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The Force For Recreational: Jedi Badminton

Katamari Damacy, the game where you roll over thing to collect them and grow bigger and bigger can now be played on any website , thanks to a clever bit of code. Contra ? Not yet, BUT I’M WORKING ON IT. How does it work? Short version: css transforms (for things stuck to the katamari), canvas (drawing the katamari), and z-index (illusion of depth). Long version: The bookmarklet loads jQuery and kh.js into the current page. jQuery is used mostly for .offset() and .css(). kh.js is where all the action happens: * Splits all the text on the page into words/spans. (StickyNodes::addWords) * Builds a grid data structure so that intersections with elements can be found quickly (StickyNodes::finalize). Essentially grid[floor(x / 100)][floor(y / 100)] is a list of elements in a 100×100 pixel block. This should probably be an R-tree, but the hot-spot in this program is definitely in the rendering. * The ball and stripes are drawn in a canvas that gets moved around the page (i.e. position: absolute; left: x; top: y;). See PlayerBall::drawBall. * When an element is attached to the katamari, a clone is made. The original element is hidden. The new element is moved around by setting -webkit-transform. The transform rotates the element about the rolling axis of the katamari and scales the element to make it look like it’s coming out of the page. See PlayerBall::drawAttached, transform_test.html, and transform_test2.html. Did that say magic? I’m going to assume that just said magic. WHICH THE INTERNET IS BY THE WAY . Now, go to THIS PAGE , copy the code from the box, go to the website you want to play on, paste the code in the address bar and get ready to get your game on at work! And after that? Rsum-updating. Katamari Hack (works best in Google Chrome or Firefox 4) via Katamari Hack rolls across your favorite websites, leaving swath of HTML5 destruction in its wake [engadget] Thanks to Jonathan, blake and Erin, who don’t roll anything but sushi. OH GREAT, NOW I’M GONNA BE WANTING SOME ALL DAY.

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Play Katamari Damacy On Any Website

You know that movie ‘ Up ‘ by Pixar? The one about the crotchety old man and chubby boyscout ? Yeah, I haven’t actually seen it (somebody said it’d be too sad for me AND I’M DELICATE LIKE EXPLOSIVE GEL). Well, to promote their upcoming television series ‘How Hard Can It Be?’, National Geographic built a functional replica of the ‘Up’ house to — get this — see how hard it could be. SOFT LOOKS PRETTY SOFT. …March 5 at dawn, National Geographic Channel and a team of scientists, engineers, and two world-class balloon pilots successfully launched a 16′ X 16′ house 18′ tall with 300 8′ colored weather balloons from a private airfield east of Los Angeles, and set a new world record for the largest balloon cluster flight ever attempted. The entire experimental aircraft was more than 10 stories high, reached an altitude of over 10,000 feet, and flew for approximately one hour. The filming of the event, from a private airstrip, will be part of a new National Geographic Channel series called How Hard Can it Be? , which will premiere in fall 2011. MYTHBUSTERS KNOCKOFF. And it only took eight years to come up with the idea! Smooth, National Geographic executives. And by smooth I mean rough, like wiping your ass with a handful of sand and gravel. That said, I’ll still watch it. And not just because I can only stand so much ginger facial hair and berets, but…actually that is mostly why. Plus it’s hard making room on my DVR with so much Real Housewives and Jersey Shore. Hit the jump for several more pictures and a video news report of the I believe I can fly in action.

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National Geographic Builds House From ‘Up’, Launches Into The Wild-Blue Yonder

PewPewPewPewPewPewPewPewPew (or PPPPPPPPP for short) is a coming soon XBox 360 title controlled by voice input. One player controls the space-ranger’s jetpack (presumably by blowing or PSSHOOOOOOWing) while the other controls his laser blaster by repeatedly spitting ‘ PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW! ‘ into a microphone. Sounds fun, amirite? It does. For a half-hour. Then it sounds like cotton-mouth and a headache plus — PLUS — an annoyed roommate shoving a mic up your ass. You ever heard an amplified fart before? It’s something you don’t soon forget. Just sayin’, Public Speaking 101, spring semester 2002. Girl was so embarrassed she dropped the class. Hit the jump for two demos: one adults, one children, both painful.

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I Am Your New High Scorer: PewPew Video Game Controlled By Yelling ‘PEW!’ Into A Mic

This is Freddie Wong’s take on Mario Kart in real life. It’s different from Remi Gallard’s versions because, instead of relying on being a jackass, Freddie relies on computer effects . Me? I rely on side effects. ‘Don’t Mix With Alcohol’ my ass — it’s the only way daddy gets drunk anymore! “GW, those are prenatal vitamins.” Haha, I have been pissing a lot of iron lately. Also, pumpin’ it . Roid rage — ROID RAGE! *dry-humps a Bowflex into a pile of dust* Hit the jump for the short but worthwhile video.

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BOOM, RED SHELLED! More Mario Kart IRL

Monopoly: we’ve all cheated at it. Whether it’s stealing a couple extra $100’s from the bank, insisting you’re allowed to put four hotels on a property, or accepting sexual favors for rent, we’ve all been there. Hopefully not on family game night. Enter the new, digital Monopoly. It’s virtually uncheatable. Also: unfun. The new $50 Monopoly Live is the same as the old game, except that it has a prominent 10-inch tower sitting in the middle of the board. This plastic tower rolls non-existent fake dice with fake dice sounds, manages rent calculations, announces player turns and even remembers how much money you have — all done electronically. According to the NYT, the tower “bathes the board in infrared light and a camera can see reflectors placed on each game piece” allowing dice rolls to be initiated by just covering your game piece. What the heck? Leif Askeland, one of Monopoly Live’s designers says that “the tower never makes a mistake” and that disputes are non-existent. Cool, an all-digital Monopoly. That sounds…way less fun than a video game. Hasbro reinvents Monopoly with an all-knowing plastic tower [dvice] Thanks to Mark, who once swallowed a handful of opponent’s houses and flipped the game board after a stint in the clink. I think jail made him crazy.

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DU-DU-DU-DUMB: Digital Monopoly Game

Certainly brings new meaning to ’shooting the green’, amirite?! No? God I hate myself. Own an assault rifle and tired of shooting bullets ? Enter the $20 golf-ball launching nozzle. Your neighbors’ll never suspect you shot their f***ing windows out while hiding under a recycling bin! Works on most AR-15, M4, and M16 rifles; replaces your muzzle brake or flash hider. Machined out of solid-stock steel, shoots golf balls over 250 yards using .223 BLANKS (BAM-006), do not use live rounds. No gunsmithing required. WARNING: All rules of firearm safety apply. Misuse of the golf ball launcher is potentially dangerous, and it is not a toy. Really? Misuse is potentially dangerous? How about misuse IS dangerous. Actually, how about PROPER use is still dangerous. Actually, how about you fire a couple rounds at my nuts, see how many I can take. Because my money’s on one. More if I pass out and you don’t stop. Product Site Thanks to garfield, who doesn’t give a shit unless it shoots lasagna.

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Fore!: Assault Rifle Golf Ball Launching Mod

Note: This is neither full-size nor the whole chart, use the Force your mouse to click HERE and see the whole thing. Ever wonder where you’d fit in in the Star Wars employment universe ? SPOILER: Bantha fodder. Sorry, but we were all thinking it. Me? I’d probably be on the Jedi Council . Well at least until I got kicked off for ‘drinking too much’ and ‘trying to light a bong with a lightsaber’. “ANSWER ME — WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO THIS STUFF?!” YODA, ALRIGHT?! I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YODA! What Would Your Job Be In The Star Wars Universe? Use This Flow Chart [nerdbastards] Thanks to Christine, who was really hoping to be a cocktail waitress at Mos Eisley.

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Great, I’m A Death Star Thermal Exhaust Port Operator: The Star Wars Jobs Flowchart

Note: This is neither legible nor the whole thing. Click HERE to see the whole thing and +2 your internet knowledge. As a follow up to last year’s State of the Internet , Focus has created another infographic almost exactly a year later (and 365-dollars short) depicting some other useless facts & figures about the size of the interweb. Which, in case you didn’t already know, is f***ing huge (also, you’re piss-poor at observation). So large, in fact, even crotchety old grandparents venture in from time to time to have their social security money stolen in get-rich-quick email scams. GOD, BUY SOME FOREIGN BONER PILLS AND CALL IT A DAY, GRANDPA! The State of the Internet [focus] Thanks to Sandi76 and Marcus, who agree that, even in the web’s darkest hour, Geekologie stands like a lighthouse of hope atop the deep, foreboding waters, ushering surfers safely home.

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State Of The Internets Address Infographic: (SPOILER: Huge w/ A Butt-Ton Of Spam)

Knokkers (slogan: Knokkers are big fun!) is a giant game of pool with no sticks and bowling balls instead of billiard ones . [Insert 10lb balls joke here] It’s the brainchild of Steve Wienecke, who undoubtedly stayed up countless nights trying to think up a better name than Big Balls Bangin’. (I would’ve just run with it, Steve). …the first playable version was built in his backyard in Fredericktown, Missouri using loads of railway ties, gravel and of course concrete. The game is played pretty much exactly like standard 8-ball pool, the only real difference is that before your shot you’re allowed to pick up and move the cue ball, though you can’t move your feet once you’ve touched it. Steve is currently working with investors as they design a portable version of the game that doesn’t require a permanent backyard investment, including more durable 6-pound balls that can stand up to the constant collisions experienced during a regular game. I’m not gonna lie, I’d get drunk and play it. Also, shuffleboard . “Jesus GW, what are you, 80?” No, but I probably have the liver and bladder of one! “OMG, ARE YOU PEEING YOUR PANTS RIGHT NOW?!” I don’t know — am I? Official Site and Facebook Page via Knokkers - Billiards & Bowling, Together At Last! [ohgizmo] Thanks to Stephan, who admits the closest he’s every come to playing with Knokkers is mashing his own moobs together in the mirror. Okay now that’s just f***ing sad.

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Knokkers: Like Pool, But With Bowling Balls