Seen here looking suspiciously like a robot turd , an unknown metallic sphere crashed to the ground in a remote area of Namibia, stirring a ‘The Gods Must Be Crazy’ moment for the locals. Well, at least in my mind it did. When the ball came down it caused a crater 12 inches deep and 13ft wide, although it was found some 60ft away. It weighs around 13lbs, has a diameter of 14 inches and its rough surface looks like ‘two halves welded together’, said police forensics director Paul Ludik. Locals claimed to have heard several explosions in the days before it was discovered by a farmer on his land. Unfortunately, the sphere is believed to be a hydrazine tank from a satellite, which sounds realistic, albeit nowhere near as exciting as an alien probe. Put it in my butt anyways, DO IT NOW. (Arguably the best line written on a blog ever) The mystery ball from space: Experts baffled by metal sphere that crashed to Earth in remote area of Namibia [dailymail] Thanks to James, who would have been waiting in the field with a baseball bat ready to send that thing back where it came from. Aww hell naw you littering-ass aliens *CA-CRACK!*

See the rest here:
The Sky Is Falling!: Real Life Spaceball Lands In Africa

Worst sex explanation ever. This is an hour-and-a-half interview between Stephen Colbert and famed astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson . There’s a lot of knowledge to be gained from watching it, so I suggest you make a pair of secret computer-viewing glasses tonight and come back to watch it at work tomorrow. Alternatively, just listen to it while you read blogs all day. But whatever you do, DON’T listen to it when you get home from work and start masturbating, or you’re gonna have a whole lot of explaining to do when your girlfriend walks in. Oh come on baby, it’s science . Like you’ve never diddled yourself watching PBS before! Hit the jump for the video, actual interview starts around 6:30.

See original here:
Stephen Colbert Interviewing Neil deGrasse Tyson

If eyes really are the windows to the soul YOU’VE GOT TWO GIANT GAPING HOLES IN THE SIDE OF YOUR HOUSE BRO. These are the mummified remains of an alien found in Peru. Sure you might think they’re just the remains of a person born with a really unfortunate dome , but no, they’re from an alien. Spanish and Russian doctors agree, yo. You can’t argue with that level of international consensus! Website RPP is claiming that Renato Davila Riquelme, an anthropologist working at the Privado Ritos Andinos museum in Cusco, has discovered remains of something that isn’t human. Measuring at 20 inches tall, the tiny remains were originally believed to be that of a child, but Spanish and Russian doctors disagree, saying: “It has a non-human appearance because the head is triangular and big, almost the same size as the body. At first we believed it to be a child’s body until Spanish and Russian doctors came and confirmed that, yes, it’s an extraterrestrial being. Now I’m not saying these “doctors” should probably lose their licenses for sucking at their jobs, but do you really want surgery performed by somebody who can’t tell an asshole from an elbow? “Well, GW, the good news is we were able to successfully remove the tumor from your leg.” And the bad news?! “We took your penis first by accident.” WHAT?! “Aaaaaaaaand sewed your butthole closed.” I’m gonna explode! Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of the not-so-crystal skull.

Originally posted here:
WTF!: Giant Alien Skull Unearthed In Peru

This is a picture of the carved vegetable alien corpse Russian cat lady Marta Yegorovnam has been keeping in her fridge for the past two years after pulling it from the wreckage of a crashed UFO in 2009. The best part? She’s still been using the fridge for food storage. You’re f***ing nasty as shit! She says she approached the flaming wreckage and crumpled metal which she described as ‘unbearably hot’ and near the twisted hulk lay the dead alien. The ‘creature’ is two feet long, has an enormous head, large bulbous eyes and an appearance somewhere between a fish and a humanoid. It also appears to have what looks like a string-like arm protruding from its body. The footage was unearthed by noted paranormal writer and expert Michael Cohen. ["Noted" paranormal writer Michael] Cohen, 40, said: ‘This could be an elaborate hoax, however the possibility that this might be a genuine alien should not be discounted. LOL @ “this could be an elaborate hoax”. Elaborate , really? Some crazy Russian lady CARVED A F***ING WATERMELON, she didn’t orchestrate a fake moon landing. This sounds like the kind of guy who’d shit bricks if you pulled a coin out of his ear. Hit the jump for two more shots, including one with a ruler. You know, for scientific-ness.

Follow this link:
Another Day, Another Russian Woman Who’s Kept An Alien Corpse In Her Refrigerator For Two Years

This is a video of the Cheers theme song set to Photoshopped pictures of Mos Eisley patrons. Not gonna lie, Most Eisley looks like my kinda place. If I don’t stand at least a 30% chance of getting stabbed in the back by a stranger I’m not interested. What can I say, I like to live dangerously. “Really? I got the feeling you just like cheap drinks.” I’ll risk my life for them! Hit the jump for the worthwhile video.

See the original post here:
Oh Shishi, All You Aliens Know My Name?: Mos Eisley Cantina As The ‘Cheers’ Bar

The US government , best known for doing everything in its power keep the general populace in the dark about anything of interest, has issued a statement claiming no knowledge of aliens or any coverups related to extraterrestrial life. Oh, real cool gubment — LYING STRAIGHT TO MY SAGGY MAN-TITS. These petitions were sparked by an Obama administration initiative called “We the People.” Initially, the White House said staffers would respond and consider taking action on any issue that received at least 5,000 online signatures within 30 days. The requirement has since been raised to 25,000 signatures. “The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race,” Phil Larson from the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy reported on the WhiteHouse.gov website.”In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye.” The Paradigm Research Group, one of the organizations promoting the petitions, said that the response by a “low-level staffer” was unacceptable and that it would begin a new petition campaign. Ahahahhahaha @ “low-level staffer”. Phil Larson is a real person with real feelings you know. There’s no question he’s read this, and what did you do? YOU HURT HIM. Would you have been happier if they reanimated Roosevelt and Eisenhower’s bodies and had him write the report? Because the government can do that too. White House: There’s no sign of E.T. or UFO cover-up [msnbc] Thanks to rob, Brianna and Preacher62, who agree there’s definitely something the government isn’t telling us: everything.

See the original post:
ALL LIES: Government Denies Knowledge Of Exterrestial Life Or Any Related Coverups

Granted it can only hover at 3-feet, but that’s a lot higher than your UFO. “I don’t have a UFO.” You ignorance pains me, you know that? But Shu Mansheng here? He’s smart . So smart he built an 18-foot UFO (NOT roflcopter ) out of $3,000 in parts (including eight motorcycle engines). It’s Shu’s third prototype and can hover 3-feet off the ground for a solid 10-seconds. Not sure how you can use that to fake an alien invasion , but who knows, maybe he’s gonna hang it in a tree or something. Chinese man builds flying wheel with eight motorcycle motors [dvice] Thanks to Martin, who claims he tried building a jetpack but ended up burning his garage to the ground. Martin? That was a meth lab and we all know it. Hey — let’s build something together on Faceybooks and Tweeter

Read the original here:
Chinese Farmer Builds Own Hovering UFO

Because there’s absolutely no point, scientists have managed to create ‘living’ cells out of metals. Why? I JUST TOLD YOU, THERE’S NO REASON. Fine, FINE — it’s to prove that inorganic life could evolve somewhere in the cosmos. Are you happy now?! Because I’m sure as hell not. *tries to spit, dribbles down chin to dress* FUFUFUFUUUUUUUUUU! “Wait — let’s go back to the part where you’re wearing a dress.” You’d like that. To prove that it’s at least physically possible, a team from the University of Glasgow has created some cell-like bubbles call iCHELLs out of metallic elements like tungsten bonded with oxygen and phosphorus. These bubbles can self-assemble, and they exhibit many of the same properties that allow biological cells to do what they do, including an internal structure and a selectively porous outer membrane that can let other molecules pass through. It may even be possible to set the metallic cells up to perform photosynthesis. The tricky bit at this point is to figure out how to imbue the metallic cells with something like DNA to allow them to self-replicate and evolve, but this may in fact be possible: the bubbles can use each other as templates to create more bubbles, and experiments suggest that they may even be able to alter their own chemistry to adapt to different environments. Yeah, so in the process of proving inorganic life could evolve somewhere, we’re gonna wind up making some sort of sentient robotic race. That…sounds wonderful, really. Hold on, my gun just told me he wanted to talk to me. Yes, gun? “BLAM!” Cool story bro. Also, I don’t really understand why this is even news considering I’ve known cells could be made out of metal for years . Get it?! Jail. I’ve spent time there. Researchers developing new form of life that’s made of metal [dvice] Thanks to The Dude and Tim, who agree cells have always been made out of metal.

Visit link:
ROBOTS OF THE FUTURE: Scientists Create Living Cells Out Of Inorganic Metals

According to some scientists, this is photographic evidence of flowing wa-wa on Mars . How they can assume it’s water and not acidic martian urine is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do WITH NOT ADHERING TO THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. Great, you’re gonna make us look like a bunch of astrologers. A sequence of images from the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter show many long, dark “tendrils” a few metres wide. They emerge between rocky outcrops and flow hundreds of metres down steep slopes towards the plains below. They appear on hillsides warmed by the summer sun, flow around obstacles and sometimes split or merge, but when winter returns, the tendrils fade away. This suggests that they are made of thawing mud, say the researchers. Now I know what you’re thinking: “OMG — we should bulldoze the entire mountain range and build a water park!” Haha — fret not, my little water-winged friend, I’m already two steps ahead of you. *shows off hand-painted ‘WATER SLIDES ARE TOPPLES ONLY’ sign* “Um, what’re topples?” One more shot not from directly above after the jump.

See the original post:
I Smell A Slip ‘n Slide!: Flowing Water On Mars

I bet it’s a portal to Atlantis! Is this the sonar image of a crasehd 60-foot UFO , 285-feet deep at the bottom of the Botnia Gulf? HELL NO IT’S NOT, DUMMY. And take that foil hat off, you look ridiculous. Swedish sea treasure hunters have found something extraordinary: A 60-foot disc sunk in the bottom of the ocean, with what appears to be 985-foot-long impact tracks leading to it. You see a lot of weird stuff in this job but during my 18 years as a professional I have never seen anything like this. The shape is completely round… a circle. Those are the words of Peter Lindberg, commander of the Ocean Explorer. He and his team found the strange disc on June 19 2011, at 285 feet below the surface of the Botnia Gulf, which is located somewhere between Finland and Sweden in the Baltic. Well shit, somebody needs to dive their ass down there and put this mystery to rest! Wait a minute…isn’t this how Michael Crichton’s ‘Sphere’ started? Oh shi-shi, now I’m thinking about ‘Jurassic Park’ again! *taking off pants* Hit the jump for a video about the finding.

Read this article:
They Came From Below: Possible UFO Found At The Bottom Of Sea