Your mannequin: he needs an ass and a belt. This is a backpack with two integrated 4-quart beverage containers and really long straws. The mannequin in the picture? He filled his with tea. I’m gonna fill mine with milk and cookies . No, no I’m not. I’m gonna fill one side with bourbon and the other WITH BLOOD. It’s the secret to my power. “What power?” The power of intimidation. You know how many people will still wanna fight after watching a man drink blood? Only the ones you should run away from. Amazon Product Site via Dual Drink Backpack [thisiswhyimbroke] Thanks to Tigi Turnbot, who just tied a piece of rope to the handles of two milk jugs and slung them over his shoulders. Thrifty, I like it.

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Oh Yeah, Real Incognito: The Dual Booze Backpack

Booze : it’s the best medicine. “No way, GW — weed FTW.” YOU SHUT YOUR HIPPIE MOUTH, STONER. You’re right though, they’re both great provided you’ve graduated high school AND HAVE A F***ING JOB. This is a prescription booze flask . It looks official. Not sure if a cop is gonna let you go if you produce it from your pocket, but my guess is no. You ever spent a night in the drunk tank before? It’s not as much fun as it sounds. “It doesn’t sound like any fun.” Well it’s even unfunner than that. Plus if you ever have touse the bathroom you have to do it right in front of 12 other dudes. It’s not the kind of situation where humming loud can muffle the sound of turds hitting the water. Product Site via Take Two Before Bed And Don’t Bother Calling In The Morning: Rx Label Flask [incrediblethings] Thanks to TSNDD, who agrees that alcohol has by far the most desirable side effects compared to all the wack-ass pills they’re always advertising on TV. Rectal bleeding? No thanks!

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Rx Booze Flask: Finally, The Medicine For My Sickness

This is a paper wine bottle. It was designed to help reduce the energy use associated with shipping wine because, I don’t know if you’ve ever been beat in the head with one in a really fancy bar fight before, but those glass bottles are heavy . I’ll f***ing kill you, Mr. Monopoly! So yeah — making the earth a greener place by reducing the shipping weight of wine bottles . Not gonna lie, that wouldn’t be the first thing I’d tackle. A leprechaun, yes. WHERE’S THE GOLD, LITTLE MAN?! While it looks a little rough on the outside, a challenge Martin will have to overcome when it comes to selling it to the consumer, the paper bottle weighs just 50 grams compared to the 500 grams of a glass bottle. It also has just ten percent of the carbon footprint of glass, so it’s cheaper to make and recycle. The paper bottles are even the exact same size as the glass bottles they hope to replace, so they can be easily integrated into existing production lines and transportation systems. The paper bottles actually have the same foil bags inside as boxed wine does, so the paper doesn’t get all mushy. Now, are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Remove the bags and tape them to your belly to sneak into a movie”? YES! You buy popcorn and I’ll let you have some. Will Wine Snobs Embrace a Paper Bottle? [gizmodo] Thanks to Marco, who still drinks wine the old fashioned way: out of a pimp cup . Dammit Marco, nobody used to do that. “Kings did!” I stand corrected.

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Booze Is Booze Is Booze: Paper Wine Bottles

Ever wanted to see what it looks like when a shelving unit collapses in a liquor store sending almost 7,000 bottles of adult grape juice crashing to the floor? This. This is what that looks like. Although, if it’d happened anywhere near here, you also would have also seen a guy paddle by in a canoe sucking that shit up with a wet-dry vac. You think I’m too proud to drink out of a vacuum? I’ve eaten out of them before. Hit the jump for the Jesus could’ve done it better.

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7,000 Broken Wine Bottle River In Liquor Store

This is a homemade bartending machine that creates cocktails simply by typing . Every letter corresponds to a different flavor , and, by typing a word, you create a drink that, most likely, will taste like shit. But who cares — it’s f***ing booze! *pounding keyboard* SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALCOHOLPOISONINGHEREICOME! Haha — my cup runneth over! *slurping off table* Hit the jump for a time-lapse of the build and a video of the machine mixing in action. It even displays the letter you just pushed as the booze makes its way into your drink! (See ‘W’, above)

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Magic Machine Creates Cocktails From Typing

This is a homemade bartending machine that creates cocktails simply by typing . Every letter corresponds to a different flavor , and, by typing a word, you create a drink that, most likely, will taste like shit. But who cares — it’s f***ing booze! *pounding keyboard* SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALCOHOLPOISONINGHEREICOME! Haha — my cup runneth over! *slurping off table* Hit the jump for a time-lapse of the build and a video of the machine mixing in action. It even displays the letter you just pushed as the booze makes its way into your drink! (See ‘W’, above)

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Magic Machine Creates Cocktails From Typing

This is a jacket prototype by designer Matt Leggett (not to be confused with Mark Armmett), that has an integrated breathalyzer sewn into the sleeve . Just not a very practical one. *straightening bowtie* Or classy. Designed with an Arduino, an alcohol sensor and a simple LED display, the breathalyzer coat aims as a deterrent to drunk driving. Curious if your blood alcohol level is over the limit? Just blow into the alcohol sensor located in the collar of your coat and watch the LEDs light up on your sleeve, indicating your drunkenness level. I assume the jacket displays blood alcohol content in 0.02 increments, up to 0.08 (the typical legal limit), but I’m not really sure. An even better way of knowing if you’re too drunk to drive? CATCHING YOURSELF BLOWING INTO THE COLLAR OF YOUR JACKET. No — even owning a breathalyzer jacket. If you own a breathalyzer jacket you’re f***ing trashed. Hit the jump for a larger shot of the God, let me just call you a cab (you already lost your phone).

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Questionable: Jacket With Built-In Breathalyzer

I’mma wipe this wet floor up WITH MY FACE. Note: Flash video embedded after jump directly from The Sun because they suck star-sized balls (sun tie-in — count it!) when it comes to annoying copyright claims over their “exclusive” videos. You don’t own London’s CCTV system! Remember the previous record holder for world’s drunkest/druggiest man ? Well here’s a drunk-ass Brit giving Mobeer Moproblems a run (read: trip and fall ) for his money. It honestly seems like he’s trying to kill himself falling down. You know how they always say, “drink responsibly”? Well this guy likes to drink despondently and then take it out on his face. Hit the jump for the MUST WATCH video that follows him around town until he (SOMEHOW) makes it back to his hotel.

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A Challenger Appears!: World’s Drunkest Man

You’re never gonna fly if you don’t spread your wings! Seen here mid-bellyflop, a beer thief prepares to shotgun two cases of Bud Light cans with his chest . HARDCORE, BRO! The incident happened around 6:37pm on Wednesday at the E-Z Food Store, located at 15 Acuff Road in Lake Wales Polk County Sheriff’s detectives said the suspect got out of the front passenger side of a black Chevy Lumina, with tinted windows and no tag, and walked into the store. The video then shows him running out of the store with two cases of Bud Light beer. The suspect tripped, fell, lost his pants and then dropped the beer. He then jumped into the backseat of a vehicle and fled the scene. First of all, if a tinted car with no tags pulls into my convenience store and parks idling by the exit I AM HITTING THE PANIC BUTTON. And, if they somehow do manage to breach my defenses, I keep a cyanide capsule in the register. Hit the jump for a video of the ‘we can always steal some from my parents’ liquor cabinet if we fill it back up with water’.

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Wear A Belt, Dummy!: Beer Thief Fail

Hrey whas this brutton do? Space beer , not to be confused with beer made with ingredients grown in space , is beer designed to be consumed in space by future space-tourists. Why does space deserve it’s own beer ? I dunno, but I’m getting pretty jealous about it! The reason why space-goers need their own beer is two-fold. First the carbonation in the beer poses a problem for those zero-G gulpers. Without the buoyancy force that the drink has on Earth, the carbon dioxide, which is dissolved in the beer, doesn’t form bubbles-and who wants to drink a flat beer? Second astronauts often face issues with a deadening of their taste buds. To overcome this tasting deficiency, the Australian company that made the brew decided it should be a stout, with the normal flavors enhanced. The brew was bottled in early September and is expected to make its inaugural flight in November, aboard a plane that flies in long parabolic arcs to create periods of weightlessness. The beer will be tested for its qualitative taste and drinkability (hopefully not by the pilot). The brew is a joint venture between Saber Astronautics Australia and 4-Pines Brewing Company, and, if all goes well, will even be available here on earth for you non-space cadets. But that’s not what I came to tell you about, I came to tell you about getting drunk in space. DON’T TALK SHIT TO ALIENS, THEY WILL BLOW UP EARTH. Next on Space Tourist Menu: Space Beer [cbsnews] Thanks to Fortune, who’s so rich he has a magazine named after him. Share the wealth, bro!

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Space Beer: For Out Of This World Drankin’