This is a Terminator in a Spongebob skin made out of LEGO . I, for one, am never eating another Krabby Patty for as long as I live. Which, since I’m a sorcerer, is forever. That’s right, I’m gonna put the Krusty Crab out of business! And speaking of Krusty Krabs *drops trou* Give it to me straight, doc, how do I get rid of ‘em? “Holy f*** — I’ve seen smaller Alaskan king crabs!” Sooooooo…sell them to Red Lobster? What’re you trying to tell me? Hit the jump for several more shots, including one from the back showing his inner-workings.

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Spongebob Actually A Terminator In Disguise

This is a $60 hoodie from ThinkGeek that makes it look like you’ve just been attacked by a zombie and your brain’s falling out the back of your head. The blood and slash effects aren’t too realistic, but it’s probably for the best since you don’t actually want anybody calling the cops because, let’s be honest, you’ve been drinking. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the carnage and a link to the product page.

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The ‘Just Been Attacked By A Zombie’ Hoodie

This pulsating ‘umbilical’ iPhone charger was designed by Mio I-zawa as an experiment in just how disgusting a person can make a cell phone charger . Nice try, Mio, but a REAL disgusting charger would ooze pus and smell like an orc’s o-ring (they wipe with dead animals). Oh I’m sorry — were you eating ? Kidding, I’m not really sorry. Besides, boogers don’t count anyway. “But I have a salt-tooth!” God you’re f***ing disgusting. Hit the jump to see a short video of the charger doing it’s thing. Then, hit the person next to you to see if they’ll fight back. If they don’t, demand their wallet. If they do, good luck, my money’s on them. Hit it for the WTFery.

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Stuff It Back In!: ‘Umbilical’ Cell Phone Charger

Note: Jump probably NSFW due to fake alien-vaj. To coincide with the release of Hustler’s Avatar pr0n parody , Fleshlight is making an “alien” version of their famous male sex-toy . “Honey — I think the blue flashlight in the tool chest next to your Neytiri poster is out of batteries”. Go where no manhood has gone before past the strangely alluring double clitoris of the Alien vagina. This mesmerizing pearlescent blue Alien begs to beam you up for a close encounter of the preferred kind. The exclusive Alien texture combines the feel of three of our most popular textures to create one out-of-this-world experience. Tantalizing sinews swirl together mimicking our famous Vortex canal before breaking through to a Lotus node that finally gives way to our most intense texture, the STU. I’m not gonna lie, I felt dirty just reading that. You can buy the sadness alone for $75, or get it and the movie and — AND — two pairs of crappy 3-D glasses for $90. Which leads me to my next question: why two pairs? Hit the jump for two more NSFW shots and a link to the product page.

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It Was Only A Matter Of Time: Na’vi Fleshlight

GIANT SQUIDS ARE GIANT. How giant ? Try 8-feet long and 100 pounds of pure, unadulterated (okay, slightly adulterated) killing machine . I’m never going to another (nude) beach again! Millions of killer giant squid are not only devouring vast amounts of fish they have even started attacking humans. Two Mexican fishermen were recently dragged from their boats and chewed so badly that their bodies could not be identified even by their own families. No wonder the giant squid are called “diablos rojos” - red devils. Since 2002, Humboldt giant squid, named after the 18th century German explorer, have been spreading their tentacles to deplete fishing stocks by moving from their traditional tropical hunting grounds off Mexico and laying claim to a vast sweep of the Pacific. Hunting in 1,000-strong packs the giant squid can out-swim and out-think fish. Scientists believe they coordinate attacks by using pigment cells to communicate. See? I told you we should have filled the oceans with concrete. Now we’re all as good as dead. Except me, because my rocketship is near completion and I’m getting the f*** out of here. And by getting the f*** out of here I obviously mean exploding on the launchpad, but whatever, the point is I’m gone. MAN EATING GIANT SQUID DEVOURING FISH STOCKS [express] (I love your jeans!) Thanks to Lauren!, who’s convinced they’re actually aliens from another planet. You know what? I think you’re onto something. Possibly drugs.

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Giant Squids Depleting Fish Populations, Now Turning Their Hungry Tentacles To Humans

Note: Jump is very NSFW and very NOT UNSEEABLE . Textbook definition of cannot be unseen . You have been warned. “Honey, look — it’s Homer !” “Oh my God that’s amazing! The only thing that could possibly make it any better is if it wasn’t my wife doing it. I think we should see other people.” Hit the jump for the very NSFW version ( SPOILER : boobie eyes!).

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Homer’s Completely NSFW Doppelganger

I’m pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it’s an actual robot , but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn’t hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn’t pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn’t. Youtube and Youtube (longer, 9:00 video) Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.

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Fake, But Still Burn It With Lasers (You Never Can Be Too Safe): A Scary Dancing Robot

I know for a fact the government can pull images from a person’s brain because they’ve been probing around in my dome for years, messing with the delicate ecosystem up there. And one time when I was being interrogated I saw a picture of a dinosaur in an agent’s file folder, SO I KNOW. Anyway, apparently they’ve decided to make the technology public knowledge. Having modeled how images are represented in the brain, the researchers translated recorded patterns of neural activity into pictures of what test subjects had seen. To construct their model, the researchers used an fMRI machine, which measures blood flow through the brain, to track neural activity in three people as they looked at pictures of everyday settings and objects. As in the earlier study, they looked at parts of the brain linked to the shape of objects. Unlike before, they looked at regions whose activity correlates with general classifications, such as “buildings” or “small groups of people.” Once the model was calibrated, the test subjects looked at another set of pictures. After interpreting the resulting neural patterns, the researchers’ program plucked corresponding pictures from a database of 6 million images. Soon, everyone will have a photo printer in the back of their head to print off worthwhile images they’ve seen. Me? I already have one. Don’t believe me — check this stack of pictures. What? Don’t act like you’ve never seen a dinosaur penis before! Brain Scans Reveal What You’ve Seen [wired] Thanks to Anit, who can read minds like comic books: with incredible difficulty.

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Scientists To Pull Pictures From Your Brain