I dunno about you, but I’ve got a new item at the top of my omg want list: Asahi Kasei corporation has developed elastic power and data cables that can be stretched up to 1.5 times their original length while maintaining their connections.

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Really, really want: stretchable power and data cables

Mataklap sends in this picture from a Dutch toy brochure. For girls, there’s a “washing the dishes” playset. For boys, a microscope.

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Heavily gendered Dutch toy advertising

The halls and rooms of the Enterprise (I’m picturing TNG , here) would look more or less like some moderately fancy hotel it if weren’t for those sweet automatic sliding doors. It turns out that you don’t have to wait until the 24th century to get some pneumatic doors of your own, it just takes some skill, patience, and DIY knowledge.

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Auto sliding door turns your house into the Enterprise

As a guy who spends 10+ hours a day with a laptop resting on his already unimpressive genitals, this is pretty serious news. Kidding, I can’t have children. Get it? Women just find me so unattractive ! I touched a titty one time but it was a friend of my older sister and I think she just felt bad for me. Plus she had this giant f***ing mole on her neck with a FOREST of black hair growing out of it so she wasn’t exactly a fairytale princess herself. Wi-Fi: it’s frying your sperms, homey. The study, published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, collected sperm samples from 29 healthy men, aged 26 to 45. Each of the samples were then separated into two pots. One set of samples was placed beneath a laptop connected to the internet via Wi-Fi as it downloaded information, while the other set was stored under identical conditions - including temperature - but away from the computer. Around 25 per cent of the sperm in samples exposed to the laptop stopped swimming compared with 14 per cent of those kept away from the computer. Similarly around nine per cent of the sperm exposed to the laptop showed DNA damage compared with three per cent in the control samples. Whatever, I’m tired of caring. Everything is either killing you or destroying your nuts, okay? Especially if it’s fun or you enjoy doing it. Except sex. Sex is actually healthy. What’s wasn’t healthy was the time I was putting the toilet seat down and sitting simultaneously and accidentally crushed my peen between the seat and bowl. IT MADE A F***ING SOUND. Like Rice Crispies right after you add milk. Wi-Fi laptops may damage sperm [yahoonews] Thanks to Ramen, who, of all people, I would trust to know about noodles.

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You’re Cooking My Meat!: Wi-Fi Destroys Sperm

iFixIt tears down the Galaxy Nexus, the latest “Google Experience” phone (a phone that ships with a stock Android installation and no telco/manufacturer crapware installed) and finds it to be admirably tinkerer/repair-friendly. The device is held together with standard screws, and very few of the components are glued together, meaning that it will be fairly straightforward to repair. The phone is meant to ship next week, and I’ve already pre-ordered mine (I’ll let you know how it works out). I’ve owned two other Google Experience phones (the Nexus One and the Galaxy S) and been very happy with them. Samsung Galaxy Nexus Teardown ( via Wired )

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Galaxy Nexus teardown reveals a repair-friendly, tinkerable phone

This is allegedly a teaser-trailer for a Bioshock fan-film coming out summer of 2013. At first I wasn’t that impressed at all because, f***, it’s just a guy playing dead on a beach with a big daddy doll , but there’s a single second of ultra-fast clips at the end. That…piqued my interest. Of course, I also just caught myself staring at the warts on my pinky for two minutes, so take that for what you will. I got them from petting a frog! Hit the jump for the most titillating 45-seconds of my day so far.

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Would Watch: Fan-Made Bioshock Movie Trailer

Next time you go through a breakup, you might want to try sleeping instead of sleeping around. For those unclear on euphemisms, I actually mean sleeping , i.e. laying in bed (or wherever) in a state lacking a certain amount of consciousness (even with a robotic snuggle bear ).

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Sleeping, dreaming proven to help process painful memories

This is a video of Geekologie Reader Simon spending a lot of time and effort to build a 12-pound warhammer for a friend’s birthday , making him a far better friend than any of mine. “Because you don’t have any?” GOOD ONE, DINGLEBERRY. Did you come up with that one all by yourself? “Nope — I had a friend help.” Ugh, of course you did, Mr. Popular. God I’m so f***ing alone. Hit the jump for the woodworking in progress.

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Geekologie Reader Made 12-lb Warhammer For Friend

This is a “life-size” (~5′8″ if she were standing upright) mural of Samus Aran made from painted Nintendo game cartridges from different systems. It was originally commissioned by used-game retailer JJGames, but now they’re selling it on eBay. Presumably because they realized it looks like shit. Kidding, I’m just saying that to keep bidding down. Or am I? You and I both know this sucks. Hit the jump for some closeups and a link to the auction.

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Samus Aran Mural Made From Game Cartridges

AT-AT dog costumes and edible gingerbread ? Boy is there an outpouring of love for the Imperial Walker. Those are both nice, but this wooden AT-AT liquor cabinet easily takes first prize for “best AT-AT creation of 2011.”

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Stash booze in this AT-AT liquor cabinet before the Rebels come