Greetings from Tokyo! Sean Bonner, who I’ll be meeting in a few days along with the Safecast crew, shares word of a nifty, limited-edition USB gadget to benefit Japan tsunami relief . The tsunami and earthquake have faded from the headlines, but the need for aid is still real. Incubot, in conjunction with partners World Events Productions and CustomUSB, have created a line of Japan Relief customs 2G USB drives : limited edition, fully licensed, and in colors honoring the japanese flag. Packaged in “Ganbari Japan!” custom boxes. 100% of profits go to Japanese Red Cross Society and to Safecast radiation monitoring efforts.

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Incubot shiroi voltron + shiroi nekobot USB Japan tsunami relief

If you have dreamed of one day having a real Iron Man style suit to endow you with superhuman strength, the wait may not be too much longer.

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A real Iron Man suit you can buy is now about five years away

I park my car on the street every night here in New York City, so I’d love it if there was an easy way to know when somebody gets a little too close to my ride for comfort. Now Intel is developing an app that lets you check on your car using your smartphone.

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Phone app lets you know when some creep messes with your car

Let’s face it: we all want to be shot out a cannon when we die. But cannons can be expensive to rent, and you don’t want your family stuck with that financial burden. “Who gives a shit about them, I’m the one that died! They should respect my wishes.” Haha, I’m with you. But, for those of you who actually love and respect their relatives, there’s Holy Smoke. For $1,250 they’ll pack a pound of a relative’s ashes into either 250 shotgun shells, 250 pistol cartridges, or 100 rifle cartridges. BLAM BLAM BLAM! *wiping tear* Miss you grandma. An account of the company’s creation by one of its founders reveals that he is clearly some sort of lunatic: My friend smiled and said “You know I’ve thought about this for some time and I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes put into some turkey load shotgun shells and have someone that knows how to turkey hunt use the shotgun shells with my ashes to shoot a turkey. That way I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him at about 900 feet per second.” Awh yeah, way to stick to those dickhead turkeys! Always gobble-gobbling and shit, NOW YOU GONNA PAY. But seriously, I’m 100% behind this idea. And, since the average human body produces 4 to 6-pounds of ash, you could really get a lot of ammo out of somebody! Me? I’d probably produce at least 10-pounds. Plus a couple coins that never passed. Holy Smoke Product Site via Honor Your Dead Loved Ones by Stuffing Their Ashes in a Bullet and Shooting It [gizmodo] Thanks to TJ, who, based on some of the info in his tip, is waaaaaaaaaaay too familiar with the cremation process to have never burned a witch. Hey, let’s me and you shoot the bull on Faceybooks and Tweeter

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I Just Shot Grandma: Company Packs Ammo With The Ashes Of Your Dead Relatives

It’s not very likely that you’ll be around to witness the end of time for yourself, but physicists have helpfully devised an experiment to simulate it using metamaterials .

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This is what the end of time looks like

Did you hear the one about Google TV being a complete dismal disappointment and utter failure? No? Well, Logitech, the product’s biggest supporter since launch says that returns for its Google TV Revue box are through the roof. Looks like Google TV is doing way worse than Apple’s AppleTV hobby.

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It’s official: Google TV flopped really hard

This is a picture of a luxury car pileup in Monaco. It makes me sad and happy at the same time because 1. it’s always sad to see something beautiful get damaged *eyes own battle-scarred face in mirror* but 2. I have a thing against insanely rich people. “Oh you jelly, GW?” Damn yeah I’m jelly! I’m Smucker’s as a mutherf***er. The wealthy French Riviera city state of Monaco was the scene of a pileup involving five luxury cars with an estimated value of more than $1.1 million. The collision, involving a Bentley Azure (worth an estimated $400,000), a Mercedes S Class ($120,000), a Ferrari F430 ($230,000), an Aston Martin Rapide ($230,000) and a Porsche 911 ($130,000), occurred in front of Monaco’s Place du Casino, according to Sky News. The British TV network reported that the incident began when the Bentley scraped the side of the Mercedes before plowing into the Ferrari. Then, the Bentley proceeded to run into the Aston Martin and the Porsche . Haha! So basically it was all the Bentley driver’s fault. *eying driver in picture* Oh look, it’s…”Don’t do it, GW!” Fine, FINE, but only because I backed through my garage door yesterday. Even the crashes are stylish: Million-dollar wreck in Monaco [msnbc] Thanks to Mr. Fancy, who may or may yes have been driving the Aston Martin.

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Oh You Know, It’s Just A Bentley, Mercedes, Ferrari, Aston Martin & Porsche Car Crash

Tired of your Wi-Fi cutting out every time you take your laptop into the bathroom with you? IEEE (also known as the Institute of electronics geeks) has just released a new, official standard for 802.22 Wi-Fi, and this bad boy can cover 12,000 square miles with just one single base station.

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New 802.22 Wi-Fi standard has a range of 62 miles

It’s not like anybody who’s ever blind taste-tested them alongside Crayolas would need any more evidence, but here’s a photo that helps explain why off-brand crayons suck so bad. Apparently they’re made with…I dunno, people ? Yeah, plus they make me color outside the lines! “No they don’t GW, you just have zero hand-eye coordination.” OMG — ONE MORE WORD AND YOU’RE GONNA GET IT! “Bring it, Captain Uncoordinated!” OH THAT’S IT! *lays myself out with an uppercut* Scientific Proof That Rose Art Crayons Suck [buzzfeed] Thanks to Your Father, who apparently reads Geekologie. OMG — you guys should totally talk about me at the dinner table! “So, how about that Geekologie Writer today?” “Total wanker.” “Agreed, pass the Jell-O salad.”

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Photo Evidence: Why Off-Brand Crayons Suck

This is the most insane thing we’ve heard all week, other than the news that time travel is impossible . A non-scientific survey by AptiQuaint claims that, of the 101,326 users who took an IQ test on several different web browsers, Internet Explorer users scored the lowest. Ha ha?

Link:
Survey: Internet Explorer users might be dumber than non-IE users