You want a watch with a flashlight in it? Tape a flashlight to your Seiko. Want a watch with a flashlight in it made by a well-known tool manufacturer? Enter the Stanley LED Torch Watch (suck it, Stanley Calculator/Tape Measure watch!). Of course, I’m holding out for a laser watch. I don’t even care if the watch works, just the lasers. Anybody want to know what time it is? PEW time! stanley flashlight watch is overkill for most wrists [technabob]

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Hold Out For Lasers: Stanley Flashlight Watch

These homemade Wolverine claws were recently confiscated during a UK crackdown on illegal goods in the postal system, along with drugs and other weapons . On that note, who can get me into the evidence room? Staff at the depot have seized drugs, imitation weapons and a package containing thousands of fake Viagra tablets in recent months. Fake Viagra tablets? That’s just cruel. I mean, you order boner pills you EXPECT boner pills. Reminds me of the time I bought ecstasy and ended up with chewable vitamins. Saddest pterodactyl ever. Makeshift Wolverine Claws Seized by UK Officials [tmz] Thanks to Samuel and Ian, who once sent Wolverine a get-well card before realizing he probably already was.

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DIY Wolverine Claws Confiscated In The UK

You ever cried watching a Mario commercial ? You might after this one . No reason to be ashamed, I did the same thing. Now, let’s hold hands and talk about it. KIDDING, CRYBABY, I’VE NEVER CRIED DURING A COMMERCIAL! Incredibly Uplifting Fan-Made Mario Ad [collegehumor] Thanks to Stephen, who’s man enough to admit he cried his eyes out and then poked them back in with a stick.

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Heartwarming: Super Mario Spec Commercial

No pretentious reflecting, no “as we say goodbye to 2009…” clichs, no insomnia-curing treatises on what a year it’s been. Just DVICE, you, and the best technology of 2009. Keep reading for our staff’s picks for the top innovations of the past 365. Be sure to let us know what your favorite tech of the year is in the comments.

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DVICE’s Best Tech of 2009

According to Fox News, arguably the hardest hitting news organization besides Geekologie and any other news organization , these are the most obvious scientific discoveries of 2009. They are (in no particular order): *High Heels Lead to Foot Pain (And Extra Height) *Men Much More Interested Than Women in Casual Sex (And Monster Trucks) *Eating Lots of Red Meat and Processed Meat Is Bad for You (But Delicious) *Kids’ TV Is Full of Ads for High-Fat and High-Sugar Foods (Plus Tampons) *Children Are Affected When a Parent Suffers From Depression (Or Stroke) *Coed Dorms Fuel Sex and Drinking (Not Video Games?!) *Sweets Taste Better When You’re High (YES THEY DO!) *G-Rated Children’s Films Are Very Straight (X-Rated Adult Films Can Still Be Very Gay) Geez, what’s the matter with scientists these days? Sure we could be trying to cure cancer or making reliable time machines, but instead scientists are busy getting high, watching Disney films and trying to get experiment participants to sleep with them. That’s pretty low (teach me everything you know). No Duh! The Most Obvious Scientific Discoveries of 2009 [foxnews] Thanks to Jed, who discovered beef jerky in 2009 and has been loving it all year long.

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Amazing Scientific Discoveries Of 2009

This is a picture of some chick that slayed Cookie Monster and is wearing his pelt . So what do you think — does the carpet match the shoulder patch or what? Cookie Monster Slayer [buzzfeed] Thanks to Blastphemer, who wears an Oscar the Grouch coat.

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But I Loved That Guy: Cookie Monster Slayer

Well folks, on this eve of the new year I’ve had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking . Mostly about how to beat the Snow Temple in Zelda: Spirit Tracks . Pushing blocks around on the ice aside, what do you think — is this new year gonna be a good one? It certainly couldn’t be any worse than this one, am I right? 2006 has suuuuucked! Ha, what do mean it’s 2009? OMG MY TIME MACHINE WORKS! Never a Year Like ‘09 [jibjab] Thanks to Brian, who’s gonna sleep all the way to 2013 to survive the apocalypse. Smart thinking, Rip Van Winkle.

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2010 Better Not Suck: The Year In Review

Tonight, at the stroke of midnight, all eyes will be on the lights in Times Square , New York City to see the year “2010″ light up in all its LED glory. Betcha didn’t know that the power for those lights is coming from a completely renewable resource — humans! For the second year in a row, Duracell has created the Duracell Smart Power Lab with stationary bike-like Power Rovers in Times Square where folks have been pedalling these bikes to generate the power for the lights. Just in time for the big night, the Duracell Power Rovers have collected over 32,000 watts of energy, which is enough to light up the numerals “2010″ after the ball drops tonight. How much power you could harvest at home by hooking up your home fitness equipment? Might make for a new kind of New Years resolutions for 2010. Happy New Year! Duracell via Inhabitat

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NYC’s 2010 Times Square display is pedal-powered

As commercial robotics improve, robot kits are also reaching new levels of sophistication. The most recent example of this trend comes in the form of the new Remo (remote brain) Humanoid Kit robot. Equipped with high-quality CCD cameras for image processing and pressure sensors on its feet for balance, the robot employs the use of Bluetooth technology to allow you to control it remotely. Powered by lithium batteries or by AC adapter, the Remo can be yours for just 399,000 yen ($4,358) here . Via PlasticPals

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Remo offers Bluetooth-controlled robot with nightmarish face

And you thought G-Shock watches were bulky — check out this Stanley LED torch (flashlights to us Yanks) watch. All told, it’s a rather lackluster digital watch, but with a twist: it’s got a small flashlight on it. We can’t imagine that it’s powerful enough to guide you through a dark forest, but if you need a quick spot while you’re working with tools, maybe you would get some mileage out of this thing. At $58, it’s not necessarily expensive for a good flashlight or a watch, though it’s a bit too much for us to plunk down for a gadget that doesn’t replace either in a spectacular fashion. Brando , via Coolest-Gadgets

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Stanley LED Torch Watch is a flashlight strapped to your wrist